Greetings to Sci-fi Fantasy Week!! I thought we would commence this Monday with
a story old as time, men that live and die by the sword for their king and
country, money, vengeance or test their skills.
But if I told you of warriors that returned from the final battlefield,
living on in secret lives?? So sharpen
your sword, hone your skills and don’t get distracted or it’s your head. This is Highlander.
Immortal slug bugs games are brutal.
Connor MacLeod: Ramirez’s
blade did not cut deeply enough. He was right about you. You’re spoiler.
Over 400 years ago, a young Highlander warrior was placed
into battle for the very first time. His name was Connor MacLeod of the Clan
MacLeod (Christopher Lambert of Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the
Apes, To Kill a Priest, Fortress, Gunmen, The Hunted and Beowulf) and
he faces a clan war when an giant knight in an obsidian helmet with a voice
that sounded like something from Hells itself, mortally wounds the lad. During the range skirmish the two are
separated and all looks lost for the young fellow. The next day he is well and uninjured. His people claim it to be witchcraft and
drive him from their village.
Now you die, Willow!!
Connor becomes a blacksmith and takes a young woman name of
Heather (Beatie Edney of Lost Empires, Wild Flower, Uncle Silas and Highlander:
Endgame) and all seems well enough until Connor is visited by an
eccentric and outlandishly dressed man on horseback calling himself Juan
Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez (Sean Connery of Dr. No, Goldfinger, The
Anderson Tapes, Hunt for Red October, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and
Sir Billi). He knows of Connor’s
plight and his resurrection. Connor
finds out that there are others like him. Some good and some evil but to
survive he must know the game. The rules
are simple: one on one challenge to the death by taking the other’s head, holy
ground can be a refuge and in the end, there can be one. Yes good and evil alike with battle to the
last for the unknown prize. The combined power of all the other immortals
to be used in whatever fashion the winner chooses to.
Alright, Zardoz was a horrible film. Happy now?
Centuries pass and it is 1986 the time of the Gathering when
the immortals feel the need to travel to the final conflict. Connor encounters the black knight of his
past, the Kurgan (Clancy Brown of The Bride, Extreme Prejudice, Shoot to Kill, Blue
Steel, Earth 2, Superman: The Animated Series and Justice League) is an
ancient malevolent man that he delights at mortal suffering. He must be a huge Darwin Awards fan. The very idea of this repugnant and soulless
man getting the prize would men of reign of tyranny the likes to humanity has
never known. After a battle Connor a.k.a. Russell Nash is
questioned by the cops about a headless man in a Versace suit. They believe Nash’s antique dealings were
over a rare sword and he killed a rival collector and to be fair that does
sound nicer than the truth.
Will Connor be able to fend off the cops, stop the villain and
get the girl?? Find out yourself! Sheesh go rent it or buy it already…
Hey folks and welcome back for Cult Classics Day 2. This time around I thought we would look into
a budding young horror director who later went on to produce such shows as:
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess, 30 Days of Night and Spartacus:
War of the Damned. So get your boomstick
and chainsaw and for God’s sake do not read from the book! This is The Evil Dead.
A dim bulb with a lantern.
Spoilers will swallow
your soul!!!
With a budget index of $375,000, some hopes and dreams and a
4 year endeavor The Evil Dead was made.
Director/Writer/Producer Sam
Raimi (Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn, Darkman, The Quick and the Dead, Spider-Man,
Spider-Man 2 and Drag Me to Hell) teamed up with his buddies, producer Rob Tapert (M.A.N.T.I.S., Hercules: The
Legendary Journeys, American Gothic, Spy Game, Jack of All Trades and Cleopatra
2525) and this actor shlub Bruce Campbell (Army of Darkness, Spiderman,
Mindwarp, Jack of All Trades, Bubba Ho-tep and Burn Notice) to form
Renaissance Pictures and helmed their very first horror movie by pitching to
investors with a Super 8 movie entitled: Within the Woods.
Possession or PMS? You decide.
Among this alumni of loonies is Ellen Sandweiss (Speedbag, Satan’s Playground, My Name is
Bruce, The Dread and Dangerous Women) who Raimi and crew conned in
being in Super 8 movies and earned every cut and scrape filming this
movie. On to the film as you have been
patiently waiting for.
Five young friends head up into the backwoods of Tennessee
(Mostly Knoxville and Morristown) to a cabin for some partying, rest and relaxation. The premise being they will all have to go
back to college after the break so this is the last fling to back to
school. Upon investigation of this
cabin and its workshed I am hoping they did not drop too much on a
deposit. Odd things start to
occur. Cheryl (Ellen Sandweiss) acts if
a force of unknown origin has taken over her drawing hand and scrawls a replica
of a disturbing tome. She says nothing
about it other than having a feeling of dread.
As our gaggle of youngsters proceeds to eat, drink and be merry, the
ceiling door pops up and of course the boys have to go and inspect like true
blue Scoobies. Ash (Bruce Campbell) and Scott
(Richard
DeManicor of Crimewave) come across a demented blade with skulls and
bone carvings as well as a book that appears to be bound in some sort of hide,
possibly human flesh. Well that hardly
seems out of the ordinary.
Looking about
they come across a reel to reel recorder of a man claiming to be a one
Professor Knowby (Bob Dorian of Matinee Movie Classics) who reads phonetic
translations of this bizarre tome stirring entities of another realm outside of
our own. Dark malevolent spirits that
proceed to warp the woods and the very campers themselves, the reel to reel further
announces how people possessed by these spirits can only be stopped by the act
of bodily dismemberment. A dark night
falls on our intrepid five and you are left wondering who will be next.
Relationship on the rocks...
And now just a few side notes here on the
film. The two drunken fishermen by the
side of the road are Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert because well…I guess they needed
some screen credit and it was a bit part.
Sam Raimi, ham that he is the voice of the evil force roaming the woods. Creature effects were rough and thrown
together, the script was only 90 pages long so there feels like a lot of lag
between scenes and Bruce’s acting is a trifle over the top. The fact remains is this is the first horror
film to have a sole male survivor, improvised camera angle known as the shaky
cam giving wider range of movement and loads of stop animation in homage to
stop motion and puppeteering. That all
being said, modern day splatter gore fans are probably gonna chuckle through it
and wonder why it fell on the ban list of horror.
Well gentle readers I have returned and decided I am
reminiscent of my review roots and therefore you guessed it!!! A zombie movie!!! Well you didn’t think I reviewed
every single last zombie film in two years did you? So grab a chair, prop it in front of the
door and be still until they walk by.
This is Zone of the Dead.
Spoilers are the end of
days, my friend. Make no mistake about
it.
Director Milan
Konjevic tackles his first film debut as the head man. From Second Unit director to a creator of
comic series called Generation Tesla, Dusk Fighters and Romero, Knovjevic takes
the plunge into directing his own written works. Shot in Serbia this zombie flick moves at a
fast pace, drags its feet a bit and then fast pace reasserts itself again. The story line is a simple one and should be
commended for that. Military training
exercises are going on in the immediate area so satellite frequencies are
re-routed. Cell phones would be unoperatable
so lane lines are about all that can be used.
Even CB or walkie talkie if you prefer is clouded. A
prisoner (Emilio Roso of Baby’s Momma Drama, Freedom’s Gate, Border Lost, Mad Men
and Corrado) is being transferred from Belgrade to London via Interpol
and Serbia police force. Agent Mina Milius
(Kristina
Klebe of The Other Shoe, She Hate Me, Delirious, Halloween and The Accidental
Husband) is placed in charge of security, transportation and route to
make it smooth sailing. Retiring Agent
Mortimer Reyes (TV and Movie character actor legend Ken Foree of Dawn of the Dead, Terror
Among Us Knightriders, T.J. Hooker, Remington Steele, The A-Team and Babylon 5)
is on his way back to the states leaving Interpol. Just twelve more hours `til retirement, Riggs. He and
his partner Dragon Belic (Miodrag Krstovic of Savior, The Professional , The Reject and
The Fourth Man) are there purely for supervisory standing so what could
possibly go wrong?
Two towns over an ecological disaster occurs at the train yard,
with north winds whipping a gaseous liquid of unknown origin it kills
everything in the immediate area and re-animates it in minutes. With this entire story occurs within the 18
minute mark so it is made room for lofty exterior shots, zooms and long crane
shots. Mostly this film is hand held and
Dolly track shooting. The cinematography is impressive but the dialogue what
you came to expect. Buddy cop routine,
sprinkled with classified information and a dash of paranoia. There also
seems to be a Romero influence as several of the death scenes are throwbacks to
Dawn of the Dead and Day of the Dead. The gore is mildly pronounced in those
scenes that require more of a terror factor has such.
Oh yes I always have a bit of nitpicking. Now keep in mind that several of the dialogue
is dubbed over so the voice over work sounds a bit rushed, confused or
otherwise lacking in the proper inflection the scene shows us. Several of the
sound effects such as: automated doors sound like something of the PC game
X-Com, the zombie cries are very similar to those heard in the Doom games and
several of the gun shot sound effects run parallel to a first person shooter
game in 1995 Rise of the Triad.
Certainly not the worst of the genre I have seen but it is
also nothing new here. I was hoping for
a regional spin on the zombies but it feels more like Return of the Living Dead
with less humor and less nudity. Not all
that impressed but hey not too shabby first time running.
Say, what do you call a show with two pretty boys with
hand-to-hand, firearms melee weapons training? Welp about this time them
Winchester boys got themselves in a peck of trouble banged up the Impala and
shook Pappy about. So pop this DVD in,
grab a soda and some chips. This is
Supernatural Season 2.
Spoilers can be found
at a crossroads…
Hospitalized after a major car accident Dean Winchester (Jensen
Ackles of Days of Our Lives, Dark Angel, Dawson’s Creek and My Bloody Valentine)
wakes from a coma under mystical means as his father gave his soul to save his
boy to the same demon that took his wife.
Brother Sam (Jared Padalecki of Flight of the
Phoenix, Gilmore Girls, House of Wax, Cry Wolf and Friday the 13th)
informs Dean what happened to Dad.The irony was steeping against the
Winchesters to an epic level. This season
we have more than a few familiar guest stars appear this season, such as: Emmanuelle Vaugier(Saw II and Painkiller Jane) Dan Gauthier (Tour of Duty, Teen Witch and Son in Law)
Tricia Helfer (Battlestar Galactica, Burn
Notice, Warehouse 13, Dark Blue and The Firm) Gary Cole (Midnight Caller, Office Space, Crusade, Family
Affair, Kim Possible, Wanted and The West Wing) to name a few. Our young hunters are trying to carry on the
mission their father assigned with to safeguard them and preserve them,
sacrificing their normal childhood but giving them skill and will to spare
future children the losses they have felt.
Wither from bad jokes, cheeseburgers or half assed bonding moments the
brothers are there for each other as best as they can be. The yellow eyed demon that slew the boys’
mother has been concocting a plan that has span over 2 decades and our heroes
must thwart his plans.
We are also
introduced to Ellen (Samantha Harris of The Evidence, The 4400,
Gray Matters and V) a former hunter now bar owner of her own roadhouse
for hunters. This season also has one of the better
villains The Trickster from episode 15.
This is so worth the watch, folks and no not to be confused with the
Flash’s villain played by Mark Hamill.
A few things of note pointing out the FX linked to this
series. TV and movie makeup crew Andrea Manchur (Sanctuary, X-Men: The Last Stand,
Kyle XY), Toby Lindala (X2,The
Butterfly Effect, Final Destination 3 and Lost Boys: The Tribe) and
Julie Beaton-Pachauer (X-Men: The Last Stand, Scary Movie 4, TRON:
Legacy and The Cabin in the Woods) which in junction with some of the
CGI, handheld cam, zooms and fair amount of dolly track the creatures have
scope, definition and frankly are creepy as hell.
Seasoned Visual Effect supervisor Ivan Hayden (Stargate SG-1, Andromeda, Special Unit 2,
Damaged Care and Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed) along with Grant Lindsay (Warriors of Virtue, Voyage of
Terror, Air Bud 3, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses and Andromeda) have
brought us spooks, specters and demonic effects that could very well rival most
movie productions. As each season seems to progress, the writers
up the ante and the monsters seem to be a bit wilier to thwart the Winchester
boys. So grab a copy from CD Universe,
Netflix or heck hit your local video store if you have one in your
neighborhood.
Well folks I am back with the end of sequels that really
didn’t need to be and what better way to round that out than with another
creature feature series than a series of killer crocodiles not indigenous to
the area. So strap on your meat suits,
grab your stupid signs and don’t bother wondering what’s in the lake with
you. This is Lake Placid Collective.
Spoilers stay around
where the prey is…
In 1999, TV writer David
E. Kelly (L.A. Law, The Practice, Ally McBeal and Boston Legal) took a
whack at a treatment that got enough love to be made into a feature film that
has been a cult classic. Lake Placid
is helmed by Director Steve Miner (Friday
the 13th Part 2, Friday the 13th Part III, House,
Warlock, Forever Young and Halloween H20: 20 Years Later) is probably
more used to biped creatures that don’t seem to die rather than a creature out
of its usual element. In Black Lake
Maine lurks a 30 foot saltwater crocodile munching its way through the
ecosystem. Fish and Game are doing a
survey on perch in the area and notice unusual drag marks in the mud. A paleontologist from The American Museum of
Natural History (Bridget Fonda of Godfather Part III, Point of No Return, Singles, Army
of Darkness and Kiss of the Dragon) is to examine a tooth that may be
part of the cause depopulation in wild life.
The local sheriff (Brendan Gleeson of The General, Mission:
Impossible II, Wild About Harry, Troy and Beowulf) is dragging his feet
on the possibility that there is a huge predator around this massive lake until
he find decapitated moose head and head of a Fish and Game deputy.
What makes this film so enjoyable is Mrs. Delores Bickerman (Betty
White of Mama’s Family, Golden Girls, Pound Puppies, Boston Legal, Hot in
Cleveland) as a crotchety mature woman with the most vulgar mouth
raising and feeding said croc and Professor of ancient mythology and crocodile
fanatic Hector Cyr (Oliver Platt of Flatliners, Diggstown, The Three Musketeers and Three
to Tango). These two have some
of the best lines and as mix mashed as the group feels it all coalesced
together. With a massive amount of
tranquilizers the croc is taken in alive.
All is well until a second croc appears and the sheriff gets to vaporize
it with a 40 mm grenade launcher. God
bless rednecks, huh? As our film comes
to an end we see Mrs. Bickerman feeding infant crocs thus bringing us to…yeah a
sequel. What, do you want a cookie for getting that right? Moocher.
Lake Placid 3 is
tackled by Mockbuster director Griff
Furst (Universal Soldiers, I Am Omega, 100 Million BC and Swamp Shark)
A year later from the second incident and a couple of teens
munched for screwing on a mud bank later; Sadie Bickerman passed away…off
camera (Cloris either didn’t want to do a sequel or asked for more money) and
her nephew EPA Agent Nathan (Colin Ferguson of Rowing Through, The
Opposite of Sex, Because I Said So and Eureka), busybody real estate
wife Susan (Kristy Mitchell of The Royal Today, The Bill, Triassic Attack and
Silent Witness) and delightful scamp son Connor (Jordan Grehs of Oliver Twist,
Scoop and Just William). Young
Connor discovers baby crocodiles and more or less adopts them by feeding them
meat. Yes genius does run high in the
Bickerman gene pool. The current sheriff
Tony Willinger (Michael Ironside of Scanners, Highlander 2: The Quickening, Total
Recall and Bloodsuckers) assures Nathan that the sweep he did over a
year and a half ago points to no more crocs in the area and everything is just tickety
boo. Nathan notices a drastic decrease
in Elk and goes to investigate believing it to be a poacher Reba (Yancy
Butler of Savage Weekend, Drop Zone, Witchblade, Wolvesbayne and Kick-Ass).
Oh don’t worry about the crocs, they look almost believable now and there are
also boobies for the guys yet again.
Thanks Unrated DVD! Yeah so
basically same plot with same jump scares and humans triumph over crocs…or did
they?
Lake Placid: The
Final Chapter is brought to us by not the number 4 but director Don Michael Paul (Renegade, Pacific Blue, Half Past
Dead and The Garden) Reba (Yancy Butler of Savage Weekend, Drop Zone,
Witchblade, Wolvesbayne and Kick-Ass) ,former poacher of Lake Placid 3
somehow survived getting shot and chewed on by crocs; decides to be on the side
of the angels as an EPA Agent and Black Lake has become a secluded crocodile
sanctuary. Think about 300 acres worth. The
area is fenced off and the waters are gated until the friggin gate is left
unlocked??!! Man I don’t leave my house
door unlocked. Mind you I just have a
couple of cats but you get my point.
Pesky teens get on the land in question and another fricking Bickerman
strikes in these here waters. Poacher Jim
Bickerman (Robert Englund of Eaten Alive, A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Mangler
and Hatchet) gives a great performance whilst there is running about,
teenies screaming and getting naked prior and oh yes big fricking guns. Oh yes, yet another sheriff Theresa Giove (Elisabeth
Rohm of Angel, Law and Order, Miss Congeniality 2 and Abduction) hard
hitting, tough as nails gal with her deputy Nermal. Yes the world’s cutest kitty cat has a
gun? Well you can guess the plot overall
and it was mildly entertaining but only the original made me laugh as much and
frankly SyFy went apeshit over a film that unfortunately got a lukewarm
response at the box office. Much love in
rental and purchase though. That is my
take on this series and hopefully you may find something beloved in it that I
missed. Always glad to hear some
input.
