The Boys are back in town!

Say, what do you call a show with two pretty boys with hand-to-hand, firearms melee weapons training? Welp about this time them Winchester boys got themselves in a peck of trouble banged up the Impala and shook Pappy about.  So pop this DVD in, grab a soda and some chips.  This is Supernatural Season 2.

Spoilers can be found at a crossroads…

Hospitalized after a major car accident Dean Winchester (Jensen Ackles of Days of Our Lives, Dark Angel, Dawson’s Creek and My Bloody Valentine) wakes from a coma under mystical means as his father gave his soul to save his boy to the same demon that took his wife.   Brother Sam (Jared Padalecki of Flight of the Phoenix, Gilmore Girls, House of Wax, Cry Wolf and Friday the 13^th) informs Dean what happened to Dad.The irony was steeping against the Winchesters to an epic level.  This season we have more than a few familiar guest stars appear this season, such as: Emmanuelle Vaugier (Saw II and Painkiller Jane) Dan Gauthier (Tour of Duty, Teen Witch and Son in Law) Tricia Helfer (Battlestar Galactica, Burn Notice, Warehouse 13, Dark Blue and The Firm) Gary Cole (Midnight Caller, Office Space, Crusade, Family Affair, Kim Possible, Wanted and The West Wing) to name a few.  Our young hunters are trying to carry on the mission their father assigned with to safeguard them and preserve them, sacrificing their normal childhood but giving them skill and will to spare future children the losses they have felt.  Wither from bad jokes, cheeseburgers or half assed bonding moments the brothers are there for each other as best as they can be.  The yellow eyed demon that slew the boys’ mother has been concocting a plan that has span over 2 decades and our heroes must thwart his plans.

 We are also introduced to Ellen (Samantha Harris of The Evidence, The 4400, Gray Matters and V) a former hunter now bar owner of her own roadhouse for hunters.   This season also has one of the better villains The Trickster from episode 15.   This is so worth the watch, folks and no not to be confused with the Flash’s villain played by Mark Hamill.

A few things of note pointing out the FX linked to this series.  TV and movie makeup crew Andrea Manchur (Sanctuary, X-Men: The Last Stand, Kyle XY), Toby Lindala (X2,The Butterfly Effect, Final Destination 3 and Lost Boys: The Tribe) and Julie Beaton-Pachauer (X-Men: The Last Stand, Scary Movie 4, TRON: Legacy and The Cabin in the Woods) which in junction with some of the CGI, handheld cam, zooms and fair amount of dolly track the creatures have scope, definition and frankly are creepy as hell.

Seasoned Visual Effect supervisor Ivan Hayden (Stargate SG-1, Andromeda, Special Unit 2, Damaged Care and Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed) along with Grant Lindsay (Warriors of Virtue, Voyage of Terror, Air Bud 3, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses and Andromeda) have brought us spooks, specters and demonic effects that could very well rival most movie productions.   As each season seems to progress, the writers up the ante and the monsters seem to be a bit wilier to thwart the Winchester boys.  So grab a copy from CD Universe, Netflix or heck hit your local video store if you have one in your neighborhood.

Blood Wars: A High School Production

Blood Wars

SPOILERS A PLENTY

Well I am back and with yet another vampire movie with Jason Connery, son of Sir Sean Connery.  I bet if they crank out a third vampire film with this yahoo we can create our own subgenre in vampire films.  Connery Fangs!!!   Well this brilliant piece of tripe is called The Thirst: Blood War a.k.a. The Thirst a.k.a. Blood Wars.   Hey distribution!  Pick a title and stick with it!    OooOoO POV shots on a scale model and into our feature.  Can’t tell if it is that or CGI.   Handheld HD DVD mini-cam strikes again.  Brotherhood of Blood flashback!   Good God does no one shoot on 35MM anymore?  Hell even 35MM HD would be fine as well but I guess it wasn’t in the budget.   Next complaint is under cranking the footage so it flies around like a crazed vampire bat of yesteryear and killing epileptics left and right.  Great dizzy and annoyed I start this flick off on the wrong foot.

Our film revolves around a hippy college student named Will (A.J. Draven of Spec Ops) who simply bumbles with the female student body because he is a doofus. His roommate/buddy Rico not so Suave (Owiso Odera of Dirt and Three Rivers) proceed to chat up a couple of girls Jayne and Ashley (Allison Lange of Gacy and Christina’s House and Rini Bell of Gilmore Girls and Bring It On)  all the while illuming to the lost of several collegiate members over the past few days.   I mean it’s not even mid terms so the atypical fleeing and suicides shouldn’t be happening just yet.

  The coven meeting between the witches and vampires is amusing for the fact that Tony Todd (Hatchet and Hatchet 2) is miked but his lackey Claudius (Jason Connery of Brotherhood of Blood) isn’t and he sounds like he is projecting for a high school play.  He struts and rants a few moments before he is put in his place by Todd then he just plops down amongst three or four undead hunnies.  Hmm maybe he is a chip off the old block after all.  Get this man some roles of caliber dammit.     Apparently there exists in this universe a type of Warlock.  No not Julian Sands.  A warlock called a sentry and they can defeat vampires.   A slight distraction from this episodic masterpiece is two rednecks with beer and a shotgun.  Shenanigans away!   C.Thomas Howell (Kindred, Outsiders and the Hitcher) and Mark Holton (Leprechaun and Pee Wee’s Big Adventure) are two Billy Bob’s short of a KKK rally head into the woods looking to shoot a cougar only to get snacked on by a couple of rookie vamps.  ENTER THE SENTRIES!!!  Our “Warlocks” slay the vampires in their stylish gunny sack robes.   First off let’s just take a look at the word Warlock.  Last I recall they are practitioners of black magic. Perhaps sorcerer would have worked or say wizard.  Apparently the Sentries and Vampires have a long standing rivalry so yeah no real heroes in this.  We have more back story about how the Sentries and Vampires have been going at it I felt like I was attending a history lecture.  Who can say offhand?   Our writer may have just done a handful of horse tranquilizers and slaved away at the keyboard.   Oh sorry I forgot.  Our creative muse inspired bringer of pain is Ramesh Thandani.  This was his first script followed by Operation Midnight Climax.   With this insight you can see what a treat you are in for.    Back to our wacky sophomores Rico and Will are playing what looks like Left4Dead 2 and Rico fades out after his victory dance.   Will stumbles through his explanation that he is cool with Jayne and likes her boobies.  Okay maybe not that bad but my God this boy needs some lessons in dealing with the opposite sex.   The two are back at his dorm for some action but low and behold a fade so no sex scene for you kids.    So our wacky young lad encounters some weird eroticism vampire dreamscape after he is bitten.  

Let’s give you all, the abridged version.   Ahem.   The fight scenes could have benefited from a stunt coordinator.   I mean it looks like a pre-teen schoolyard squabble in most.   Tony Todd has a very commanding performance that is simply wasted on this film.  Jason Connery was excellent as the impatient vampire to ascend to the throne if you will.  America Olivo, who I felt was seductive but the performance seemed hasty and her lines felt forced.   A.J. Draven and let us spare his feelings appeared to be out of his depth in playing a complex character such as a newly turned vampire struggling to keep his humanity and not give into the dark pleasures of the night.   Hell Denzel Washington would have had some issues with that and that cat is dynamite on the screen.  Also would have been a trifle bit difficult to envision Denzel Washington as a college student now.   Bottom line is this film tried to push where their time constraints and lack of budget and frankly just did not cut the mustard.   You have a potentially decent flick if more time was taken with it.  Maybe with new edits or re-shoots with A.J. and tell him to emote dammit.    Suffice to say this vampire film sucked after many fashions.

Insatiable? We’ll see.

The Insatiable

SPOILERS…Eh you know the drill.

Man o man I seem to be on a vampire kick this month.  This time I have a flick with some budget and meat on the bones.  No more time to waste, let’s delve into The Insatiable.   Writers/directors Cary Solomon and Chuck Konzelman (TNT and Earth Vs. the Spider) bring us this modern day macabre L.A. story of an everyday guy (Sean Patrick Flannery of The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones, The Boondock Saints 1 and 2) who works selling flange pipes and is the super for his building .  His local stop at a convenience store and he offers to get a homeless guy; Sammy (Jimmy Gonzales of Four Christmases and Beewax) something to eat.  The convenience store clerk Ronnie (Brad Rowe of Shelter and National Treasure: Book of Secrets ) is swarmy to a couple of preppy kids buying porno mags with the typical hiding purchases.  Harry and Ronnie chatter for a bit and Harry is on his way out to feed the unfortunate fellow on the street.  He then encounters a gorgeous vivacious redheaded vampire (Charlotte Ayanna of Training Day and The Thirst) feeding that very same homeless man.  Startled as he is, his vampire rends Sammy’s head off and leaps 30 feet straight up and through a window without breaking stride.  Harry hyperventilates, passes out but manages to call the cops afterwards.

 Naturally the lead detective treats him like he is jotting down a drunk’s UFO sighting.  Harry slighted by this reaction and terrified of what he saw, of course he goes to work the next day to get crap from his co-workers; Javier (Jon Huertas of Castle and NCIS) and Chet (Josh Hopkins of Swingtown and Private Practice) about the vampiress.   Follow-up questions with lead detective Michael Roper (Boyd Kestner of The General’s Daughter and Hannibal) seems tedious and awkward.  Harry is shown crime scene photos and he is sickened by it. Detective Roper classifies Harry as a nut that saw what he couldn’t possibly have seen, and tells him to take a hike.   Meeting up with Ronnie at the convenience store, Harry notices a neck wound on Ronnie and points out how wiped he appears.  Ronnie tells Harry how his new girlfriend is just running him ragged from sex.  Hmm sounds better than watching this movie any day but I digress. 

 Obsessed with the vampire; Harry surfs the web trying to get a handle on female vampires.  God only knows how many porn sites came up he had to delete out of and discovers they originate from the demon succubus; in that they feed on a man’s life force in the act of sex and slowly drain them of will and strength.  Harry tries to sleep only having a ridiculous bedtime montage of the past events to he heads over to Ronnie’s place to look in on him.  To his shock and horror Ronnie to has met his fate by the vampiress.   The cops are uninterested in what he has to say, so Harry takes it upon himself to deal out justice Peter Cushing style…..okay he actually contacts a web operator that has a few vampire pages.   Harry deals with a backed up garbage disposal of his neighbor Cindi. (Amanda Noret of Veronica Mars and Bunny Whipped)   Just pointing out that she is drooling over Young Indy here and he is too damn bashful to do anything about it.  Smack upside head!

Destiny or a clogged toilet lends a hand and Harry meets a man that is more than just a resident.  Stuck in a wheelchair but wields a decent sawed off boomstick is Strickland (Michael Biehn of Terminator, Aliens and The Rock) who explains to Harry the heightened senses of a vampire.  If they get your scent they can track you anywhere and given his last scene with her I am sure she got pheromones and urine.   Strickland cross-references the known attacks over the last two months and narrows down a grid pattern that is her hunting grounds.  Yes once again we have technology, geography and obsession to hunt and kill vampires.  A trifle cliché but it is Michael Biehn so I excuse him.   Harry hits a hardware store for some tools of the trade.  Pry bar for boarded up doors.  Wire cutters for chain link fences and a decent sized sledgehammer and railroad spikes for staking.  Guess the old lop the head off and everything is gravy concept is key here.   Trailing her to the lair, the vamp wakes only to plead for her life and doofus Balbo lets her live.   Strickland reams him over the phone and Harry devises a plan to deal with her his way.   Using his contacts at work and a handy welding manual; Harry creates the very first Vampire cage.  The same steel used for bank vaults and is damn certain she cannot get out of there.  Excellent time for a spear through the chest but now she is locked away he hasn’t a fricking clue what to do next.  JACKASS!   Stake her, lop the head off and chuck the body to the sun after soaking both head and body in holy water.   Well that was just my opinion. 

 Begging Harry to be free; Tatiana tells him she needs blood every night or she will waste away horribly.  Not wanting a life on his hands, Harry offers her rabbits and other such creatures like a take-out order, but eventually that is not enough for her appetite.  He starts developing a rapport with Tatiana and she can sense he is a lonely sad man who has never really known love.     Too tempted by our vampiress the lines of morality get crossed and Harry starts feeding Tatiana people including jackass co-worker Javier.  Eh can’t say I blame Harry on that one.  Hell I would have fed that guy to a wood chipper let alone a vampire.   The cops find Harry’s prints on discarded bags of trash containing victims and Harry gives himself to Tatiana.     The moral of the story is to kill the pretty thing before it gets in your head.