Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood

Welcome to the new week. Well it took some doing and perusing but I finally found a copy of a sequel several fans were asking me to find. For those that don't want to read YET ANOTHER horror sequel, well make some suggestions please. For everybody else, the wait is finally over. Yes the demand for more Stephanie Beaton is on and we will see how this goes. We are to embark on another Witchcraft film. This is Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood.

Satan demands you motorboat me.

As many of you will recall, Lucy Lutz (Stephanie Beaton of Wicthcraft IX: Bitter Flesh, Zombie Gang Bangers, Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft, Monster in My Car, Eyes of the Werewolf, Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood and A Passion) was in London and asked by Bureau 17 to join up along with Agent Celeste after the big vampire and Satanists showdown and...well I don't think that plot line is going to connect here.   But hey! Garner's back! Lutz's partner Garner (Mikul Robins of Teen Wolf, Frogtown II, Witchcraft IX: Bitter Flesh, Sexual Chemistry, Dark Secrets, My Haunted House and Opus of an Angel) are going to be busy busy as Will Spanner, Warlock and Lawyer Extraordinaire has returned!

Dayum, girl you lost...well any sex appeal.

 

Going on his fifth regeneration (yes that was a timelord reference) Will (James Servais of Scanner Cop, To the Ends of Time, Erotic Confessions, Madam Savant, V-World Matrix, Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood and Dog Story) is still with Kelly (Wendy Blair of The West Wing and Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood) and for some continuity issue, um they are still engaged. Yeah this engagement has been going on forsix years. Dude commit already.   Director/writer Ron Ford (The Mark of Dracula, Alien Agenda: Endangered Species. Riddled with Bullets, Deadly Tales, A Passion to Kill and Deadly Scavengers) brings us back to the roots of Witchcraft, meaning there are actually witches again and yes they will try to seduce Will to the dark side and...maybe we need something new. Our movie revolves around Kelly's sister (yup didn't know she had one either) and her college shenanigans. Probably mostly beer bongs, bisexuality and learning magic, because every college girl has the Willow from Buffy experience...if it is written by a horny, basement dwelling perv and not Joss Whedon.

So Kelly's sister Colleen (Miranda Odell of Sweet Evil 2: Sapphire and Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood) is absorbed in the Scottish play Macbeth. Her director looks like the master from Manos: The Hands of Fate and her co-stars Maria (Lauren Ian Richards of Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood) and Keri (Kathleen St. Lawrence of Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood) want to do spells in a graveyard with a grimoire. This is somehow good for the play. WHAT?!!! How is dabbling in the black arts and I assume blood magic going by the title going to prepare you for a role in Shakespeare?! So if this was Hamlet, would they have committed incest and killed their fathers to be with their mothers???!!! Is it bad to point out that the play is happening in a Catholic college?

Well at least it ain't vampires this time, Lutz.

So our dabblers are only going to raise three witch sisters from THE DEAD!!! Yup totally reasonable and clearly something that looks good on a college transcript. Says here you're a people person, you can do Spreadsheet and you raise the dead. You're hired!... somewhere else.

So if they conjure up these dead broads they can open a gateway to Hell. Again, Catholic girls are a bit scary. A further addendum, Colleen points out how she and Kelly had fire and brimstone sermons drummed in their heads for years and this is why Kelly rebelled, fell in love with a man foretold to lead all evil on the planet and is a master warlock and...wait a minute. Is this getting goofy? 

 Naturally our night foray into the dark arts requires the girls to be topless. Must be a key ingredient for black magic or possibly banking on T &A selling this flick. Naaaah, I'm clearly just jealous I don't write this well.  Maria is taken over by one of the sisters and gacks a moron teenage horndog so no loss there.

My polo shirt protects me from your sorcerous ways!

 Once again Satan gets typecast as the corrupter of youth and the spoilers of virgins. Oh and they are supposed to open a hell gate for Abaddon. Um isn't that the Angel of Death? I admit my CDC is a bit rusty but according to Hebrew texts, Abaddon is the Angel of the Abyss. Of course New Testament also establish Abaddon as another name for Jesus after the resurrection so I am all sorts of confused on this dogma.

Enough about boobs! Where's Lutz and Garner? Surely evil is afoot! Two of the college horndogs tell Lutz and Garner that they were ogling the topless trio and then Jay got killed. So our dynamic duo go to work. Also Garner is a sexist pig now.  Um character development I guess?  Seriously, Lutz looks like she is inches away from smoking this little piggy.  They happen to bump into Will and Kelly as they passed through the very same graveyard that is technically a CRIME SCENE and not taped off. Well I don't blame Lutz and Garner, probably lazy ass unis not doing their job.

Will states he doesn't sense any dark powers and he seems to be okay with magic again. Just need some consistency dude. And then he whips around to Kelly after our cops leave and tells her there are dark forces at play. Bro, that particular twosome are gonna be pissed you just lied to them. The hell brah? Will wants to get to Colleen before the coven has taken her over, released the demon Abaddon and open a hell gate. But don't worry, male readers. There's boobs. Yes that oh so important deciding factor YOU ALWAYS ask me about. Lady readers, well you know I didn't write, direct or film any of this. I can only apologize for boobs so many times.

Okay the creature effects, the wraith like witches is actually good. The energy beams from eyes however, yeah not so good. Glad to see Lutz and Garner back but still not a lot for them to do. Current Will is lacking in real charisma, the fights are kind of impressive and once again a coven or sect of warlocks is trying to turn him to the dark side. IT DOESN'T WORK!!! Will's left a trail of bodies of those that have tried and failed ultimately so stop trying to entice him. Between offers of booty, power and enough witchy orgy badness he can digest, Will has been loyal to Kelly through and through. Face it!   He's not going to lead your armies of darkness and shroud the world in endless night or whatever the script wants this time.

Stephanie's Lutz is a hard nosed bad ass cop again, guns blazing and getting into danger. I wonder how many shots fired forms they fill out each movie.  Garner is taking her lead and he is still questioning if magic is real??? DUDE!   You have fought satanists, vampires and now witnessing a demon coming up from out of the ground.   Even Scully is saying, "Duh dumbass."

So overall the acting is fair, the witches three are well topless for a lot of it. Sex scenes fly by quickly and the sound quality was a vast improvement over ten. Will is constantly being tempted to his darker nature. Shouldn't one of these sect leaders just invite him for tea and open a dialogue instead of throwing magic floozies at him all the time? Not the greatest follow-up but I was glad that Garner and Will managed to make it back in and no vampires this time.

Oh you didn't just say that to Garner, Will!

Pumpkinhead

Howdy gang! I hope you enjoyed that ridiculous video review of Billy the Kid vs Dracula.

That took far, far too long to finish but it is done! Okay funny note, as many articles I added on here from epinions.com, I somehow skipped a decently creepy film. Today's movie hails from MGM and United Artists making a chiller film with an amazing practical effects creature from Stan Winston's Studios plus he helped with the story and directed our movie. This is Pumpkinhead.

Now massage my corns, Lance.

We start off with an odd prologue in 1957 seeing a farmer with his wife and son, Ed refusing shelter to a doomed soul. The man screams, begs, swears and howls in terror as something from the night kills him.

Flash forward to a present day era, Ed (Lance Henriksen of The Terminator, Aliens, Millenium,Alien 3, Dead Man, The Quick and the Dead, NCIS and The Blacklist) is all grown up with a son of his own is now a general goods store man. Amazingly enough no old guys out widdling wood for pipes or toy soldiers.

With a gaggle of promiscuous and rambunctious teenagers (Because don't almost all these movies start that way?) are out and about dirt biking riding, partying and getting ready for the big orgy, one of them accidentally ran over a small boy that happens to be Ed's son. Joel, (John D'Aquino of SeaQuest DSV, Matlock, Melrose Place, Murder, She Wrote, Seinfeld, Sliders and Crossing Jordan) drunken dirt biker ass decides to be worried...about his record and starts freaking out as the rest of the group came back to the cabin they were staying at for the weekend. Joel knocks one of his buddies out, rips the phone cord out of the wall (this is that old timey land line phones many of you younger readers may not know about) locking him and a girl in the closet so they can't alert the cops. Apparently he is on probation for a similar incident. So how many kids has Joel ran over?

Man, I hate those kid shaped road cones!!

Believing the cops are useless, the loss of his son with the fact his wife died giving birth to their boy has overwhelmed Ed with grief, that he knows what he must do. Yup not call the cops or grab a twelve gauge pump hunting the guy down revenge style. Nosiree, he must journey to visit a crazed witch deep in the woods who will bind Ed's soul to this revenge golem known only as Pumpkinhead. Could be a demon too. They were never really clear. The creature is loosen on the world in search of righteous cruelty.

This demonic entity starts roaming the woods as Joel starts to reflect on his asshat ways and proceeds to head out to turn himself into the cops when his girlfriend Maggie (Kerry Remsen of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge, Appointment with Fear, Tribes and Round Numbers) hears her name being whispered and goes out to investigate because...well Horror movie obviously. Steve tries to save her but is immediately gacked by this spindly tall monstrosity and drags Maggie away with him.

The dreaded and feared demon, Snappy.  He bites.

Unfortunately given it was his and his late son's blood to resurrect Pumpkinhead, Ed must bear witness to the horrors the creature is inflicting on the kids. Regardless of his need for revenge he cannot stand the sight of these murders.

He begs the old witch to release the creature and put him back so he can do no more harm but the witch laughs saying it's too late and once it is done, Ed's final price will have to be met.

Can Ed lift the curse? Are our hapless and helpless teens done for? How often does this creature make the rounds in these here parts?

This film marks Stan Winston's directorial debut. Many critics were blown away by Winston Studios monster but felt the plot was lacking. Dave Kehr of the Chicago Tribune went on the record saying, "As a technician, Winston clearly knows how to make a monster, but as a director he was yet to learn how to bring one to life."

Personally the family vengeance angle, coupled with grieving father driven to near madness was a compelling idea but the story itself was a bit slow. I mean you have love, loss a need for revenge and even some redemption and okay so it moves a bit slow but that also allows for when the creature will strike next. My only complaint was the creature itself revealed too early. Do a pee wee or extension arm slash and gutting effect first, then crank up a wind machine, a bit of lightning to unveil the beastie at the beginning of the third act.

Lance is what truly keeps this film interesting. Watching him going through this barrage of emotions is impressive and brought his "A"game to it.

This is a surprisingly original atmospheric horror film that gets the most mixed reviews.

At the end of the day, I enjoyed it. I do own a copy of it so that should be proof right there. Impressive effects, performances are done well and overall not too shabby.

Pumpkinhead ensures better gun safety regs in the woods.

Anime Absurdity: Rosario + Vampire

Welcome back to the week! Again sorry for the lay over to Sunday but I only possess so much energy...and migraines are a bitch. Moving on, we are taking a look at some of the more popular animes of the last 10 years. Thankfully I have narrowed down some titles thanks to some of my Anime friends and it was most appreciated. Today we look at school life as a teenager but with the difference being I think the student body may be a bit more than expected. This is Rosario + Vampire.

So, has Oz changed much Jack Pumpkinhead?

Average student Tsukune has failed entry exams for almost every school in Japan. When it looks like Tsukune will have to be home taught, his father finds a flyer on their doorstep for the Youkai Academy. For the rest of the round eyes confused on this word, Youkai (Japanese folklore of monsters, spirits and demons) so a world of wonder and utter madness await our unsuspecting lad. Now often the manga and the anime with diverge into different presentations of the story but in this case they show more of the root of their being but there is not a lot of indept examination of the characters themselves. Crossing from home and through a tunnel of the bright sun shining day, is a realm of lava moats, castles and darkness. Ahh King Bowser is at work! Ominous crows and a dark woodland forest path later, the foolish lad sallies forth into this disturbing castle. At no point does the brain, instinct or every good ole' fashion fear kicking warning him. Admiral Ackbar nowhere to be found screaming, "It's a trap!" so the boy is left to his own devices.

Cue jingle sound and twinkly lights.

Concerned for his well-being Tsukune is attempting to skip out of school and run for the hills (Cue Iron Maiden) until he run smack dab into Moka Akashiya, the most loveliest girl his lids ever have to clap eyes on. The naive but good natured teen seems smitten by her and proceeds to hang out with her when he realizes there is something different about her...oh yes it could be her fangs.

Many a comedic moment in this series offering up monsters galore both male and female and because of Tsukune's good nature, the girls seem to gravitate to him. Maybe it is innocent blood, his heart will make a wonderful sacrifice to a dark deity and the like but he needs to fight them off with a crucifix and a stick. Apparently the boy's pheromone signature drives the girls crackers as he is actively pursued by a succubus, a witch and an ice creature. And before you menfolk ask, yes there is booby, upskirt jokes and many a time of them running around in their bra and panties. So glad we got that all cleared up.

With a great animation, wonderful music and voice work being top notch it is not too difficult to figure out what drew most folks to the series. The monsters vary in multiple folklore as we have lizard men, a fiery fox creature, mermaids, werewolves all with hair colors in their humanoid forms ranging in colors of the rainbow to only ones I have seen in yarn. Moka's flashbacks about Human scholastic are a bit on the vague, I was hoping to see a goofy mob of pitchforks and torches but alas none came to pass. I do love the talking bats that announce they're talking bats. Yup a momentary distraction from the action scenes, love scenes or general chaos. 

Yikes, he's got that Legend of the Overfiend look in his eye.

 

700th Blog!! Weird West Week: The Shadow of Chikara

Salutations youngins and welcome back for Day 4 of Weird West Week. Well we have had vampires, weeping women, monstrous gunslingers and even a dinosaur so what could possibly be next? How about we journey to Arkansas (only watching the film.. kind of a weird state) towards the last days of the Civil War, when one of the confederates knows he is not gonna make it so he tells two of his buddies of a mound of rocks that may be a treasure in the makings. This is The Shadow of Chikara a.k.a. Curse of Demon Mountain a.k.a. Demon Mountain a.k.a. The Ballad of Virgil Cane a.k.a. Thunder Mountain a.k.a. Wishbone Cutter a.k.a. Shadow Mountain.

Damn Yankees took all our bacon!!

Former Confederate Captain Wishbone Cutter (Joe Don Baker of Lancer, Wild Rover, Walking Tall, Mitchell, The Pack, To Kill a Cop, Fletch, The Living Daylights, In the Heat of the Night and GoldenEye) Irish Indian Half Moon O' Brian (Joy N. Houck Jr of Night of Bloody Horror, Creature from Black Lake, The Brain Machine and Down by Law) and mellow geologist Amos Raymond (Ted Neely of Jesus Christ Superstar, A Perfect Couple, Hard Country, Summer Camp Nightmare, Of Mice and Men and Django Unchained) decide to journey the remote regions of the Arkansas wilderness. Hopefully they avoid a collection of grossly disfigured inbred cannibalistic mountain men similar to the villains of Wrong Turn.

Rough mountain terrain moves deep into the cave their late compatriot described and discover a cache of diamonds. Wealth beyond their wildest dreams and thus far no disturbing hillbilly melee weapon wielding psychos. Then Moon recounts of a tale he has heard of demons that guard a sacred mountain and realizes it may possibly be this mountain (NOW A WARNING??!!!). Warnings aside the threesome collect as many rocks as possible but still light enough to move around the treacherous underfoot when they encounter a battered woman who claims to be the lone survivor of a vicious Indian attack. As shell shocked as she is, she tells the fellas her name is Drucilla Wilcox (Sondra Locke of The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter, The Outlaw Josey Wales, Every Which Way is Loose, Sudden Impact, Ratboy and Clean and Narrow). Wishbone less than thrilled a damn woman (his words!) is along to get in the way and may make a play for their treasure reluctantly deals with her joining the party. Methinks he is just bitter because Amos and Moon are vastly prettier than he and more likely to get the girl.

So... live around here?

The long trek back the Untouchable Trio Plus One are ambushed and confused to what is laying these onslaught of attacks. Roving band of Apaches?? The moonshiners from Deliverance? Demons watching over their sacred mountain? The answers to these questions begin to frighten the hell out of them as they become scared, paranoid and loaded with firearms. Will they strike it rich only to die for their uncovered funds? Will life be more important than the diamonds? Why does Wishbone look like Meatloaf?

A few comments on the flick now. Factually speaking diamonds were not discovered in the hills of Arkansas until 1906, 41 years AFTER the Civil War and the use of dynamite for mountaineers, farmers and railroad workers won't happen until two years after the film's set timeline because Sweden hadn't developed it yet. Aside from these mildly interesting facts, this has all the hallmarks of a 70's slow build-up Horror movie. The gradual and meticulous tone that says something spooky is on the rise but we have no idea when the trap is sprung. Painfully staked with an excellent mood altering musical score this film is low key and definitely worthy of the term Ghost Story of the Old West.

The cast is superb, the film has a fair degree of violence for PG which would be bumped to R these days and the setting has a good creep factor. Frankly this is a forgotten gem that deserves a good DVD release. The copy I saw was grainy as hell, recorded in Technicolor and mono so adjust your speakers accordingly. Curiously enough, our director/writer Earl E. Smith also created The Legend of Boggy Creek, The Town That Dreaded Sundown (Original 1976 version) and Sudden Impact. Folks I am 4 for 4 this week and loving it!!! Easiest copy to find is the title Curse of Demon Mountain.

So I'm too doughy to be the Lone Ranger?  Damn.

Lamberto Bava Week: Demons 2

Welcome back boys and girls for Day 4 of Lamberto Bava Week and man I gotta say I was a bit surprised with this one. Given the reoccurring theme of shock and awe with a shoestring budget I have seen this week, imagine my surprise when a lesser sequel doesn't hold a candle to its predecessor. Seems like a very loosely connected sequel similar to A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge, retooling the original work and altering the existing mythos because it is lazy writing in my opinion or just piss poor research of their own material. This is Demons 2.

Gonna pump you up!!!

So everything and everyone in the original film Demons was in fact supposed grounded into reality while this film is a movie within a movie? So we were watching a movie, watching a movie while in a movie??? Crack open your ibuprofen if you need it, because it gets odder. Our story follows pesky teens trespassing into a city that was deserted due to the demon outbreak... so does that mean in that reality, there was a demon/human war and there were severe casualties but they had plenty of time to crank out video documentaries/films about the subject matter? In the sense of it being a sequel it has demons and that is about it.

While we started off in the theater and expanded to the streets in the first film most of Demons 2 takes place in a substantial apartment building. A young couple being sweet and snuggly, a teenager having a birthday party with her friends, a family having some dinner and several musclebound jockos popping a sweat in the basement gym and thankfully the film has told us where everyone is.

Even movie titles want cake too.

A few folks are gazing at the idiot box with the show is focused on demons as the dialogue would have you belief this very thinly affiliation to the first movie and viewing this somehow releases the demons from the TV and into their really real world dimension as they proceed to go sickhouse throughout the apartment. With the athletes using a rudimentary series of makeshift melee weapons to fight, the rest of the building's tenants attempt to flee out of window washer harness, down the fire stairwell and even the fricking elevators to what avail??? Dare they try and hold back the all consuming onslaught of evil? When will self-preservation kick in?

A bit of trivia on our movie of the day.

I was deeply impressed with the practical effects of this film such as: the resurrection of the fallen demon was a wax hand melting and then the film was reversed and the demon popping out of the TV was an actor wearing a mask pressing his face into a screen of latex.

Bobby Rhodes who played Tony the pimp from Demons returned as a different character but yes I did snicker a bit. The demonic boy chasing after Hannah was actually played by adult dwarf actor Davide Marotta (Phenomena, Demons 2, A Midsummer Night's Dream and The Passion of the Christ). With a more New Wave and Punk score and soundtrack we have tunes by Love and Rockets, Dead Can Dance, The Smiths and The Cult. What shocked me was seeing 11 year old Asia Argento joins our cast of players. Guess when your dad is the Italian master of Horror, this stuff doesn't phase you. Final vote is choppy editing, far-fetched story and not a single likable character. Sorry folks but the only pro I could find here was the makeup and FX were superior than the first film and that is about it.

BUUuuUuUuUURPP!!

Lamberto Bava Week: Demons

Hello there, gentle readers and welcome back for Day 2 of Lamberto Bava Week. My fever is down so by God I am hobbling my achy self into a chair to watch this horror that awaits me. With a warped story penned by Lamberto Bava, produced by Dario Argento we can expect some blood, gore and pesky teen deaths toot sweet. This is Demons.

Dinner did not agree with her.

College kid Cheryl (Nastasha Hovey of Domani, Uomo contro uomo, Senza scampo, Volevo i pantaloni and Stay Lucky) is chased in the subway of the Berlin U-Bahn by a man in a mask for the length of two train stations just to give her a flyer to a newly renovated local movie theater. Cheryl convinces her friend Kathy (Paola Cozzo of Demons, Nightmare Concert (A Cat in the Brain, Demonia and Il grande fuoco) to cut classes and head to the movies.

The girls run into of all people, Carl Cabot!..um I mean George (Urbano Barberini of Otello, Gor, Opera, Gor II and Demons 6: De Profundis) and Ken (Karl Zinny of Pianoforte, Demons, Delirium, Opera, Act of Sorrow and La festa) who take an immediate liking to the girls and end up sitting with them in the theater rows. Not far from them is an elderly couple and a pimp named Tony (Bobby Rhodes of Hunter of the Apocalypse, Hercules, Demons and Demons 2) and his choice hos Rosemary (Geretta Geretta of Smithereens, Warrior of the Lost World, Rats: Night of Terror, Demons, Domino and Bloody Christmas) and Carmen (Fabiola Toledo of Big Mama, A Blade in the Dark, Demons, Brigada central, Taller mecanico and The Color of the Clouds) because Tony knows how to treat his women to entertainment. The film within the film opens with motocross bikes winding their way up to a creepy manor to the tune of Save Our Souls by Motley Crue.

Serial killer or Naruto fan?

Rosemary's face is scratched by a promotional mask that is virtually identical to the mask in the film she starts warping as the festering wound transmogrifies her into this viscous green mucilaginous demon. Rosemary proceeds to start whacking the fellow film goers and they either die or change as well. Pre-From Dusk 'Til Dawn only demons instead of vampires. The theater doors seem to be locked up and not letting anyone out as the survivors work out a way to escape before their numbers are up.

A few finer points on the film. This was shot in 35mm anamorphic widescreen. The dubbing is painful in translation alas Anchor Bay Entertainment doesn't have the film the original Italian dubbing, the soundtrack consists of the most overly used Edvard Grieg composure In The Hall of the Mountain King. Pull it up on youtube and you will be reminded several TV and movie trailers and intros.

Interestingly enough, Motley Crue, Rick Springfield and Billy Idol all added tunes to the movie to bring American audiences in to see the flick. Sadly with a paltry screening Bava did not get the love from the film until VHS rentals of which has given a well-established Lamberto Bava's cult classic following.

The prop motocross bike and sword sequence reminded me stuntman/stunt coordinator Joe Canutt from Boris Segal's The Omega Man as he goes flying up and down the aisles and stairs pinwheeling that sword around. From the impressive practical effects, the amount of gore induced story and path of the movie this was a creepy flick which ensures I get less sleep tonight assuming my cold doesn't do that as well.

My floor length skirt and I sense danger!

Lamberto Bava Week

Well hello there readers and welcome back to the madness I churn out on the screen. Now last week we all enjoyed a fair degree of style and substantial body of work with Timothy Dalton Week.

It however is that time again... to bring to light another Italian horror director of obscurity via the states and fairly across the pond. Lamberto Bava!!! Now, before you all query,"Who??" I would point out some of the significant titles he has done such as: The MST3K beloved Devilfish, Demons, Demons 2, Macabre and many more...

Headshot of horror!!!!

To give you a bit more scope of our subject of the day, I would point out that Bava is third generation Italian horror as his grandfather Eugino Bava was a camera operator and optical effects man during the silent cinema era. His father Mario Bava cut his teeth in early special effects designing, cinematography and even directing himself. Some titles like: Erik the Conqueror, Black Sabbath, The Evil Eye, Blood and Black Lace and Kill Baby, Kill. It is on the set of Planet of the Vampires, Lamberto worked as his father's personal assistant that he got the directing bug as well but he still needed to learn the fundamentals of film making. With his father he worked in the TV movie I giochi del diavolo (The Games of the Devil) of which Lamberto wrote the screenplay and he and his father directed.

Later on both men worked with Dario Argento in Inferno and Tenebre. This allowed Lamberto the freedom to shoestring budget his own thrillers Macabre and Blade in the Dark giving him a building block background for directorial he later handled the action movies Blastfighter and sadly went on to do Devilfish as a director for hire and was not responsible for the tremendous amounts of plot holes or trying to make Italians appear as Florida natives.

By 1985, his genius was recognized with a joint effort with Dario Argento producing Demons giving him international acknowledgement and success that he has continued in his family's legacy to disturb and warp minds with vivid imagery, well-molded characters and coherent storylines. Y'know, stuff that Paul W. S. Anderson shys away from. Here is hoping we all have some fun with this week and enjoy some more Eurohorror!

Deadite Jim Carrey!!!

Anime Week: Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms

Hello folks and welcome to Day 5 of Anime Week.  I thought perhaps we would stem away from direct Japanimation and show how it has influenced stateside the modern cartoon.  This practice was found heavily in the early 80's with English dubbed versions of Transformers, Thundercats, Silverhawks, G.I. Joe and even Jem.   The method to introduce the theme into modern characters of superheroes and cartoon characters is of course Batman: The Animated Series.  Stemming along those lines it was decided to widen the audience of a popular comic book character that hunts down monsters and squashes them with his red right hand.  This is Hellboy: Sword of Storms.

Well Abe, this is another fine mess you gotten us into.

Abe Sapien: You just made the spoiler face.
Hellboy: Oh, crap.









Our flick open right in the middle of a mission with Mayan ruins, filled with mummies and even a giant  zombie-like bat as Abe Sapien (Doug Jones from Men in Black 2, Hellboy, Pan's Labyrinth, Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron, Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer and Legion) and Liz Sherman (Selma Blair of Cruel Intentions, Down to You, Legally Blonde, A Guy Thing, Hellboy, Hellboy 2: The Golden Army and Anger Management) lend their voices rather than physical form in the animation.  With the crashing, booming and guns blazing it isn't far too long that Hellboy (Ron Perlman of Beauty and the Beast, Sleepwalkers, Romeo Is Bleeding, Chronos, Animaniacs, Alien: Resurrection, Fallout: A Post-Nuclear Role-Playing Game, Hellboy, Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron, Hellboy 2: The Golden Army and I Sell the Dead) comes smashing in riding the great big beastie and beating it into submission and possibly oblivion.

Just another day at the office.

Liz torches the room with her pyrokinesis and roasts almost everything except Abe and Hellboy and they are off to BRPD (Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense) HQ to debrief, shower, change goo ridden clothes and probably sack out miles away in Japan a Professor Sakai, Japanese folklore expert reads aloud an ancient scroll of prophecy and unleashes two brother demons Thunder and Lightning as they possess his body and force him to find the sacred Sword of Storms, the lone weapon that can defeat them.  The sword's current owner greets Sakai with open arms when lightning and thunder cascade from his body blasting artifacts and trinkets about the study.

 The weird crap'ometer goes off and BPRD send both Hellboy, Professor Kate Morrigan (Peri Gilpin of Flesh 'n' Blood, Hercules, The Lionhearts, Fraiser, King of the Hill and CSI: Crime Scene Investigation), a specialist in worldwide folklore, occult and liason to the enhanced talented agents and a psychic Agent Russel Thorne to ferret out the reason for the paranormal activities around the sword collector.
Hellboy picks up the Sword of Storms and is transported to a spirit/dream realm that resides next to the real world where he must protect this blade from those who would use it for evil.

Now just a few comments on the film itself.  I found the artwork to be vibrant, similar to the creator of Hellboy Mike Mignola's work and the voice cast was bang on.  The story was intriguing but the action of the monsters was fairly predictable.  They attempted seduction, slight of hand and trickery to get Hellboy to cough up the blade and it seemed a little cliche for me but then again I am a fan of this particular comic book and japanimation; so it could be said I have seen it before if you will.

Setting the story in Japan with ancient times showing they did their homework on the Oni (Troll), the Rokurokubi (demons whose heads come off or necks extend), the Gashadokuro (Giant Skeleton creature) and the evil Yotmotsu-hisame (ugly woman of the underworld commonly a hag or spider creature) so it did give the almost anime feel of a noble warrior on a quest.

Yup the crap is just building up.

Not a bad story but I found Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron to be a bit more interesting

Horror of 1970 Week

Howdy campers!  Welcome back to another helping back to my roots.  For more than 3 years I was self-inflicted into a niche that was nothing but horror and sci-fi movies.  The occasional TV series here and there but mostly became a bit too proficient in spotting my scream queens of yesteryear and modern era.  Observing actors and actresses that are so far removed from the Oscars the last award they got was in Little League, The Boys Scouts or possible The Brownies.  F-Grade films is what I speak of and the odd thing is I found them entertaining from time to time.  Oh not every one of them was a gem but somehow there would be a defining moment,actor or musical score that captured my attention.  

Cute but there is the whole eternal damnation issues.

Alas most of these films do not exist in this current timeline and I found a certain fascination with the year of 1970 and its horror genre.  The true hallmark of the thriller slasher, touch-up on the traditional monsters and transition from red dye to the blacken red caro syrup mixture since the 1980's.

So dust off your bell bottoms, break out your Zep or Pink Floyd and spark one for me.  This should be a wild ride or a disappointing canter.   Let's find out.

Horror Grab Bag Week

Hidey ho readers and welcome to the week entitled Horror Grab Bag Week.  I will dip into random and obscure horror films ranging as far back as 1974 to 1990.  Should be an interesting trip not unlike of mushrooms or California Red. I am striving to find the forgotten gems and hopefully less of the vomitous of the current horror era.  The focus is based on camera angles, creativity in story in both background and characters as well as is it genuinely scary.

My humble opinion is the horror genre is so much better with a more or less original story. whether it is a ghost story, a fantasy land besieged by vampires or legions of the dead rising from the gates of Hell, gimme something to leave me with chills and a possible fright.  So let's roll them bones and see what we get.

Hello...BOoOoOOOOy!!!

The Boys are back in town!

Say, what do you call a show with two pretty boys with hand-to-hand, firearms melee weapons training? Welp about this time them Winchester boys got themselves in a peck of trouble banged up the Impala and shook Pappy about.  So pop this DVD in, grab a soda and some chips.  This is Supernatural Season 2.

Spoilers can be found at a crossroads…

Hospitalized after a major car accident Dean Winchester (Jensen Ackles of Days of Our Lives, Dark Angel, Dawson’s Creek and My Bloody Valentine) wakes from a coma under mystical means as his father gave his soul to save his boy to the same demon that took his wife.   Brother Sam (Jared Padalecki of Flight of the Phoenix, Gilmore Girls, House of Wax, Cry Wolf and Friday the 13^th) informs Dean what happened to Dad.The irony was steeping against the Winchesters to an epic level.  This season we have more than a few familiar guest stars appear this season, such as: Emmanuelle Vaugier (Saw II and Painkiller Jane) Dan Gauthier (Tour of Duty, Teen Witch and Son in Law) Tricia Helfer (Battlestar Galactica, Burn Notice, Warehouse 13, Dark Blue and The Firm) Gary Cole (Midnight Caller, Office Space, Crusade, Family Affair, Kim Possible, Wanted and The West Wing) to name a few.  Our young hunters are trying to carry on the mission their father assigned with to safeguard them and preserve them, sacrificing their normal childhood but giving them skill and will to spare future children the losses they have felt.  Wither from bad jokes, cheeseburgers or half assed bonding moments the brothers are there for each other as best as they can be.  The yellow eyed demon that slew the boys’ mother has been concocting a plan that has span over 2 decades and our heroes must thwart his plans.

 We are also introduced to Ellen (Samantha Harris of The Evidence, The 4400, Gray Matters and V) a former hunter now bar owner of her own roadhouse for hunters.   This season also has one of the better villains The Trickster from episode 15.   This is so worth the watch, folks and no not to be confused with the Flash’s villain played by Mark Hamill.

A few things of note pointing out the FX linked to this series.  TV and movie makeup crew Andrea Manchur (Sanctuary, X-Men: The Last Stand, Kyle XY), Toby Lindala (X2,The Butterfly Effect, Final Destination 3 and Lost Boys: The Tribe) and Julie Beaton-Pachauer (X-Men: The Last Stand, Scary Movie 4, TRON: Legacy and The Cabin in the Woods) which in junction with some of the CGI, handheld cam, zooms and fair amount of dolly track the creatures have scope, definition and frankly are creepy as hell.

Seasoned Visual Effect supervisor Ivan Hayden (Stargate SG-1, Andromeda, Special Unit 2, Damaged Care and Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed) along with Grant Lindsay (Warriors of Virtue, Voyage of Terror, Air Bud 3, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses and Andromeda) have brought us spooks, specters and demonic effects that could very well rival most movie productions.   As each season seems to progress, the writers up the ante and the monsters seem to be a bit wilier to thwart the Winchester boys.  So grab a copy from CD Universe, Netflix or heck hit your local video store if you have one in your neighborhood.

Hellboy...don't tell me you never heard of it?

What is it that makes a man a man? Is it his origins, the way things start…Or is it something else, something harder to describe?   Hey folks I thought this would be a good kick start to Guillermo del Toro week if we tackled a film a great deal of us know, like or dislike, love or loathe.  Now without further adieu…This is Hellboy.

Skip to the part where I can kill a spoiler

In 1993, San Diego Comic Con’s second titled comic was released by comic artist/writer Mike Mignola (Wolverine, Daredevil, Power Man and& Iron Fist) Hellboy was a monster, a demon that championed on the side of good and taught Christian morals. Hellboy was contracted by Dark Horse Comics in 1994 and is a title to this day.   Mignola stated in a interview for the movie he got tired of drawing men and women in tights, panel after panel and really like making monsters instead. So why not make a monster a hero?

Collaborating with writer Peter Briggs, del Toro and he start hammering through the pages of Mignola’s Red Right Hand of Doom story arc and place a father/son relationship that Hellboy and Professor Broom did not have in the comics.   That being said, let’s get to fun!   In 1944 on the shores of some remote ruins in Scotland a natural connection of ley lines, the Nazis are attempting to cross a dimensional gate to a realm uncharted by sane men.   From a substantial gunfight between US forces of the newly founded Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense and the Nazis, Russian scientist, paranormal expert Grigori Rasputin (Karel Roden of Blade II, Bulletproof Monk, The Bourne Supremacy and The Abandoned) delves in a realm where angels dare not tread and is sucked through the portal, all seems well but Professor Broom points out that portal worked both ways and was open long enough for something else to have gotten through.    A search of the premises comes up with a small ape like child, red as a fire engine and a right hand composed of stone.   Cut to 2004 and young FBI agent John Myers (Rupert Evans of Sons & Lovers, Fingersmith, Emma and This is David Conrad) entering the world of the BPRD and informed there is much more going on this little blue green planet by Professor “Broom” Bruttenholm (John Hurt of Alien, History of the World: Part I, The Hit, 1984,Beyond the Gates and V for Vendetta).  A brief introduction with the aquatic Abe Sapien (Doug Jones of The Time Machine, Men in Black II, Adaptation, Doom and Pan’s Labyrinth) a vault about 8 inches thick is open to reveal the man or demon of the hour, Hellboy (Ron Perlman of Beauty and the Beast, The Magnificent Seven, Crime and Punishment, Cronos, Blade II and Star Trek: Nemesis)   

A few issues being in the BPRD, if you do not really have an area of expertise and just a grunt with a gun you have the live span expectancy of a red shirt.   You are on Hellboy’s team and we never heard of you?  Bye bye cannon fodder.   This film with its crane shot, hand held and a fair amount of dolly track with anamorphic scope gives you that chestnut of being there in the action without a fraction of the collateral damage.  An enjoyable monster flick, you can show to the kids and they will thank you for it.