A Sequel Like No Other: Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance

Well hello there my little lamby lambs and welcome back for the week here at Rotten Reelz Reviews. Now we have a few announcements for the week but that will all have to wait because...I have the sequel! What sequel you may find yourself asking? Why, only the sequel you yourself didn't even know you wanted. Yes the sequel to follow 25 years later from all the hard hitting action, paint balls for blood, the tactical wisdom of Shoot, shoot shoot, shoot them, man! I speak of none other than Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance.

Kawasu e no ikō o chūshi! or Abort move to dodge!

25 years later and the streets of L.A.have not improved. Technology and communications run at an all-time high and the Yakuza are in full swing. Joe Marshall (Matt Karedas of American Revenge, Samurai Cop and JAG)has all but disappeared after the death of Jennifer (now played by adult film star Kayden Kross of Escort, The Turn On. The Con Job, Nurses 2. Orgasm and My Sister's Husband)

Frank (Mark Frazer of Another World, Hunter, Samurai Cop and Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman) has a life, a good woman and a new partner Detective Higgins (Laurene Landon of Airplane II: The Sequel, Hundra, Maniac Cop, Wicked Stepmother, Maniac Cop 2, Drive and Knife to a Gunfight) whose plastic surgery is kinda frightening to look at. Seriously, I can barely understand her given her jaw has been reconstructed and her flesh pulled taunt. It's really scary. Frank knows a gang war is about to go down with the bodies piling up on either side but his captain, Joe Harmon (Joe Estevez of Soultaker, Werewolf, Cyber Seeker, Fatal Justice, Toad Warrior, Rollergator, Demolition Highway and Guns of El Chupacabra) is a bit of a prick and doesn't care for cops with instinct only by the book. At least 3 tsuba (hilt for a wakasashi or katana) have been left at the murder scenes.

Bai Ling's late afternoon wear.

 Frank tracks down the shipping address only to find Joe, alive and well, hiding out in the desert making duplicates based on the 8 tsuba of virtue for swords living the life of peace when Katanas strike! Agreeing to work with Frank again, Joe meets Milena ( Again adult film star Kayden Kross of Escort, The Turn On. The Con Job, Nurses 2. Orgasm and My Sister's Husband) the spitting image of his dead wife Jennifer and a hokey romance ensues.

3 semi-nude girls and you can't see a thing in this shot! muahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Joe drug into the middle of this potential power keg must do battle with the Katana clan against former mullet Fujiyama (Cranston Komuro of Samurai Cop and Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance) and his three deadliest specialists: Dogge' (Bai Ling of The Crow, Anna and the King, Sky Captain and the World of Tommorow, Blood Shed, The Key and 6 Ways to Die), Hera (Adult film actress Lexi Belle of Trouble Youth 3, Sweet Petite, The Ring, Girls Love Girls 3 and Lusty Young Lesbians Vol. 6) and Tessa (Adult film star Zoey Monroe of Slut Puppies 7, Buttsex Nymphos 2, Bitter Sweet. Young & Glamorous 5, Lil' Gaping Lesbians 5, and the classic P.O.V. Pervert 16) . Can Joe and Frank put aside their differences to handle Katana again? Will Joe have another lovely lady wig? Will Frank STOP mugging for the camera?

Originally pitched as Marshall's partner Frank would team up with Joe's daughter to avenge dear old Joe when...actor Matt Karedas turns out to be alive after years off the grid. Whoops. Better make him a producer.  Dear sweet lord why??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US ALL???!!! Okay, that bit of overacting is courtesy of The Room's Tommy Wiseau appearing and having a part. The horror... the horror. YOU'RE SLICING ME APART, SAMURAI!!! Yup, got it out of my system now.

That's not my gun digging into your hip, baby.

Sydney Pollack Week: The Yakuza

Subete no kon’nichwa!   Welcome to the continuation of Sydney Pollack Week and have we hooked quite a whopper today.  A story of ill-gotten gains, family struggles, honor and the willingness to follow through, this film marks for an interesting dive into Western and Eastern culture clash.  So shoes off, serve the one next to you and do not hog the spicy tuna roll.   This is The Yakuza.

That is not a happy camper.

Spoilers are as much a gift as a curse…

George Tanner (Brian Keith of Arrowhead, The Parent Trap, The Quest, Hooper, Sharky’s Machine and Hardcastle and McCormick) runs the L.A. docks and foolishly got into bed with the Yakuza (Japanese Mafia), fell behind on payments and now they demand tribute or they will kill his daughter.  Tanner calls his old army buddy Harry Kilmer (Robert Mitchum of Undercurrent, El Dorado, Out of the Past, Cape Fear, River of No Return and The Big Sleep, a private eye that is well immersed in Japanese culture.  Tanner is counting of the life debt of one Tanaka Ken (Ken Takakura of The Path of the King, Golgo 13, Mushuku, The Homeless, Hakkodasan and Black Rain) to lead Kilmer around, defeat the Yakuza and save the girl.   Dusty (Richard Jordan of Rooster Cogburn, Logan’s Run, The Mean Season, Alibis and The Hunt for Red October), Tanner’s personal bodyguard will be traveling with Kilmer as well but he looks to be no more than a gunsel.  Like the man said, “The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter.”

Boomstick plus one!

Yeah two guys will be doing all this.  Infiltration, sabotage and a high count of homicide is on the order of the day.    I will also assigning Harry Callahan, John McClain and possibly Martin Riggs for this otherwise insane plan!

To abide an old debt to Tanner, Kilmer must go back to Japan and over 20 years of hurt, remorse and obligation.  During the occupation of Japan, MP Kilmer discovered a black market purchasing of American medical supplies by Eiko Tanaka (FYI Tanaka is the most common surname in Japan.  Think Smith or Jones) who he fell in love with, they romance and he even looks after her daughter Hanako as if she were his own, but for reasons a dopey Western round eye cannot fathom, she cannot marry him.  Sad and bitter Kilmer went back to the states, worked as a cop and then a shamus.   Tanaka Ken is former Yakuza and now a brilliant swords master teaching Kendo in a prestigious institute Kendo Hall in Kiyoto.

This film is a hybrid of Japanese discipline, honor with a smattering of American cynicism.  The story is simple yet elegant, the camera work from day to night is dolly tracked, handheld, long crane shots  and decent pan zooms of which is all hallmarks of a Sydney Pollack movie all shot on a Panavision anamorphic lens 35mm.   With solid collaborations with writers Paul Schrader (Taxi Driver, American Gigolo, Raging Bull and Affliction) and Robert Towne (Chinatown, Heaven Can Wait, The Firm, Mission: Impossible and Mission: Impossible II) this flick has as much action as there is dialogue. 

Blam!

A little side note, I started snickering seeing one of the Yakuza reading a Manga.  Comic books are for kids, buddy.     This thriller is bloody, gunfights and katana a plenty.  This is an interesting mesh of the cultures of honor and violence that both the Americans and the Japanese are capable; it also shows heart, spirit and the willingness to overcome great obstacles.   This film deserves the same restoration love that Peckinpah's The Getaway and Friedkin's French Connection did.   I find no faults in this film with the exception it is now over.

Big Tits Zombie...I know what you are thinking..

Hey all, back with YET another zombie film.  Maybe this one will have its own unique spin.  Instead of that tired lumbering zombie of Romero years, this will be mildly intelligent and sentient flesh eaters.  Doomed to roam a world where no one understands their plight, hopes and dreams.   So grab your clear heels, draw up your g-string and prepare of swirling and twirling.  This is Jugs &Ghouls…er…I mean Big Tits Zombie.

Spoilers dig strippers…it’s true…look it up.

Soft core pornographer/writer Takao Nakano (Sumo Vixen, Sexual Parasite and Hot Step Jump!) decided to branch out in his…particular genre of horror eroticism and delve into the realm of zombies.  Now you Nakano fans must be asking, “But Jake how will he achieve the proper exploitation of actresses and insure us nudity?”   Well as luck would have it he makes the girls fending off the legions of the undead, strippers.   Yeah breaking some new unfettered ground there let me tell you.  This manga (Japanese comic book for those of you not in the knowing) influenced film was based on Rei Mikamoto’s Kyonyu-Dragon.   Our story opens with a barely dressed stripper lightly dribbled with blood.  I think it must have been a pen cap full sprinkled on.   As she attempts to clean her ample cleavage off, three shambling ghouls appear with patented Walking Dead moans.  Another girl with a cowgirl outfit and chainsaw, Lena (Adult actress Sola Aoi) splits one down the middle in true Tokyo Gore Police fashion with blood sprinklers at the ready.  She proceeds to have technical difficulties but her friend got her second wind, proceeds to go sickhouse on the lot with a katana.   Joining back in the fray, Lena goes back to back with Ginko (Risa Kasumi of Tokyo Girls 2: Supervixens and Subete no onna ni uso ga aru)

A few technical critiques I have offhand.  The feel of the film is to give the implied Grindhouse standing.  Lower budget and grainy film stock to give it that patented 1960’s exploitation feel and overall it is decent but the combo of CGI blood splatter, squibbed gel blood packs as well as the more viscous sprays with a under cranked fast paced film may be a bit hard on the photophobic eyes.   Takano is really going for the live anime standing so that means absurd violence, twisting the laws of gravity and physics with a dash of what the hell.   Lucky me I got to endure the 3D version and yes we are talking old school red and blue glasses rather than your polarized version of current.  Migraine sufferers you may want to skip this film but of course the title didn’t shoo you away I guess you deserve your fate.

This is ridiculous violence, caricatures of working girls and an amusing narrative through this bloodbath.  Mindless hack and slash for all to enjoy and yes boys ample amounts of nudity so you are fully covered. So have at it folks.  I’m going to crack up a Doctor Who book.