Saturday, November 1, 2014

600th Blog!!! Halloween Resurrection

Happy Halloween everyone and welcome to Day 5 of Halloween Week. This marks two impressive moments. One, this is my 600th blog! Yah!! Two, we have a Halloween movie for Halloween!!! That being said, why in the seven hells did I have to review piece of flotsam??!!! Yeah, folks I am not thrilled to be tackling this particular sequel of the substantial series. For those of you that disliked Halloween H20, really despised this fun filled pile of scum. So let's roll up our sleeves, stretch the muscles out and go out swinging. This was Halloween Resurrection.

Gonna get his... oh I don't even care.

Three years after H20, Laurie Strode had been sent to the whacko basket, I mean a psychiatric hospital as (SPOILER) she had lopped the head off of a paramedic and not her brother Michael in some costume switcheroo cliche. Myers apparently attacked this poor paramedic by crushing his larynx and swapping his uniform for Myers' jumpsuit and mask. While the poor lad got beheaded, Myers has snuck away into the woods and either went into hiding for the next three years. Back to the nuthouse, Laurie is prepped for Michael's arrival and has gone full Home Alone with the hospital to do the old boy in but to no avail. Yeah they greased Laurie. His 20 year mission is at an end. So end of movie right? WRONG! Sadly that was only the first 15 minutes and maybe 10 to 12 snippets of dialogue from Laurie. So glad we drug Jamie Lee Curtis back for that.

A year later we are having a reality show in Michael Myers' house for six college students must spend a night in the house that brought forth evil and figure out what caused he to go completely crackers and start up his killing spree. I figured it was the tacky wallpaper but that was just my approximation. Our six contestants decide in the ultimate wisdom to split up and search for clue, Scooby teen gang style. Zoiks! No sooner do these collective bags of hammers separate it would appear that Michael starts systematically wiping them out. Who could have seen that coming?


Yes this is what the saga has be reduced to, the slaughter of Laurie with a year's follow-up of wacking people in his childhood home. Thank you Dimension Films for dragging us through all that for this half-assed collection of gore scenes with next to no plot. When writer of The Drifter (Larry Brand of Backfire, Masque of Red Death, Till the End of the Night, Paranoia and The Right Temptation), a vastly underrated thriller starring Timothy Bottoms and Kim Delany was transcribed to write this end of an era I figured I was well onto the summing of a final chapter. Laurie finally defeats him and can breathe again... instead I get catch phrases that are dated, Busta Rhymes throwing cowboy with Myers and Tyra Banks not voting off models.

Let's take wacky facts about the flick now. Just for the sake of ending this review and I can go on to watch better horror movies. Jamie Lee Curtis agreed to reprise her character Laurie Strode so she would NEVER EVER be back for yet another sequel. Long time Halloween producer Moustapha Akkad made it sound during the theatrical release that Curtis was so impressed with the screenplay and could hardly wait to be a part of the legacy when actually she was under contract. Yeah lot of sunshine shot up the collective sphincters there, huh?

Director Rick Rosenthal was brought back to direct this festering boil on a dog's anus after 21 years prior bringing us the vastly superior Halloween II in 1981. While our body count seemed extremely light at a whopping ten I suppose you could count the some of the bodies from the flashback sequence so giving it a tally of 14.

Still love the fact we skipped Tyra Bank's death scene but you get to see the aftermath in said van. So basically it was almost stating she wasn't deemed worthy of an on-screen death. What crap was that? Too pricey an effect??? Anywho, this was one that clung to the bowl no matter how many times you flushed. With this being the final nail in the original series' coffin, it is another 5 years before Rob Zombie picks it up from the ashes and starts anew. 

 Now normally I am not one for reboots but honestly I dug that he expanded beyond Carpenter's original path of pure evil, gave him a dark childhood and slowly warped him. Just a different take on it and it does not detract the folks from the originals at all. Resurrection however could convince you to Google Rick Rosenthal's home address just to egg it, his car and maybe even the family dog.

(sigh) It's a living.