Happy Halloween everyone and welcome to
Day 5 of Halloween Week. This marks two impressive moments. One,
this is my 600th blog! Yah!! Two, we have a Halloween
movie for Halloween!!! That being said, why in the seven hells did I
have to review piece of flotsam??!!! Yeah, folks I am not thrilled
to be tackling this particular sequel of the substantial series.
For those of you that disliked Halloween H20, really despised this
fun filled pile of scum. So let's roll up our sleeves, stretch the
muscles out and go out swinging. This was Halloween Resurrection.
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| Gonna get his... oh I don't even care. |
Three years after H20, Laurie Strode
had been sent to the whacko basket, I mean a psychiatric hospital as
(SPOILER) she had lopped the head off of a paramedic and not her
brother Michael in some costume switcheroo cliche. Myers apparently
attacked this poor paramedic by crushing his larynx and swapping his
uniform for Myers' jumpsuit and mask. While the poor lad got
beheaded, Myers has snuck away into the woods and either went into
hiding for the next three years. Back to the nuthouse, Laurie is
prepped for Michael's arrival and has gone full Home Alone with the
hospital to do the old boy in but to no avail. Yeah they greased
Laurie. His 20 year mission is at an end. So end of movie right?
WRONG! Sadly that was only the first 15 minutes and maybe 10 to 12
snippets of dialogue from Laurie. So glad we drug Jamie Lee Curtis
back for that.
A year later we are having a reality
show in Michael Myers' house for six college students must spend a
night in the house that brought forth evil and figure out what caused
he to go completely crackers and start up his killing spree. I
figured it was the tacky wallpaper but that was just my
approximation. Our six contestants decide in the ultimate wisdom to
split up and search for clue, Scooby teen gang style. Zoiks! No
sooner do these collective bags of hammers separate it would appear
that Michael starts systematically wiping them out. Who could have
seen that coming?
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| Duhhhhhh.... |
Yes this is what the saga has be
reduced to, the slaughter of Laurie with a year's follow-up of
wacking people in his childhood home. Thank you Dimension Films for
dragging us through all that for this half-assed collection of gore
scenes with next to no plot. When writer of The Drifter (Larry
Brand of Backfire, Masque of Red Death, Till the End of the Night,
Paranoia and The Right Temptation), a vastly underrated
thriller starring Timothy Bottoms and Kim Delany was transcribed to
write this end of an era I figured I was well onto the summing of a
final chapter. Laurie finally defeats him and can breathe again...
instead I get catch phrases that are dated, Busta Rhymes throwing
cowboy with Myers and Tyra Banks not voting off models.
Let's take wacky facts about the flick
now. Just for the sake of ending this review and I can go on to
watch better horror movies. Jamie Lee Curtis agreed to reprise her
character Laurie Strode so she would NEVER EVER be back for yet
another sequel. Long time Halloween producer Moustapha Akkad made
it sound during the theatrical release that Curtis was so impressed
with the screenplay and could hardly wait to be a part of the legacy
when actually she was under contract. Yeah lot of sunshine shot up
the collective sphincters there, huh?
Director Rick Rosenthal was brought
back to direct this festering boil on a dog's anus after 21 years
prior bringing us the vastly superior Halloween II in 1981. While
our body count seemed extremely light at a whopping ten I suppose you
could count the some of the bodies from the flashback sequence so
giving it a tally of 14.
Still love the fact we skipped Tyra
Bank's death scene but you get to see the aftermath in said van. So
basically it was almost stating she wasn't deemed worthy of an
on-screen death. What crap was that? Too pricey an effect???
Anywho, this was one that clung to the bowl no matter how many
times you flushed. With this being the final nail in the original
series' coffin, it is another 5 years before Rob Zombie picks it up
from the ashes and starts anew.
Now normally I am not one for
reboots but honestly I dug that he expanded beyond Carpenter's
original path of pure evil, gave him a dark childhood and slowly
warped him. Just a different take on it and it does not detract the
folks from the originals at all. Resurrection however could
convince you to Google Rick Rosenthal's home address just to egg it,
his car and maybe even the family dog.
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| (sigh) It's a living. |
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