Free to Play Week: Get Off My Lawn!

Hey there folks and welcome to Day 3 of Free to Play Week. Well after combing through far too many MMO games, co-op options and fantasy games I realized three things. First, I really do not need a two to five minute cut-scene of dialogue, story arc or monologue if I am just interested in hack and slashing. Second, most MMOs take a bit of time to learn and get all the quirks of the game mastered and spending more than four hours on any one game I am just reviewing seems a bit tedious and unnecessary and third, I just wanted something simple to play and have a laugh. With that in mind, how about a game of first contact that goes horribly wrong? This is Get Off My Lawn.

You damn kids!!

From Digital Leisure Inc., the people that brought you Dragon's Lair, Space Ace and Dragon's Lair 2: Time Warp comes an arcade style shooter game in the same facet of Duck Hunt to Plants Vs Zombies. Enter Murray Mendelson, a 78 year old man very meticulous about his front lawn that looks as thought it was manicured with a pair of nail trimmers. Lush in green and finely tended to, a knock at the door interrupts his afternoon nap. Assuming it is some band candy offer or a local Mormon chapter that hasn't gotten the message yet, he grabs his musket and answers the door. A small, blue alien presents him a gift and for the creature's troubles and good conduct he gets gut shot by Mendelson.

Gut shot! Bad way to die.  Oh well, see ya!

In true checkerboard style, our legion of little aliens head to his front door. As Mendelson you have the default weapon of unlimited ammo via musket that causes the poor visitors to die by. With each kill in a row comes a series of orbs. With a collection of orbs you can purchase better weapons with each level of new alien combatants. Buying levels in each weapon improves the kill ratio and dispatches the poor critters rather effectively. With musket, shotgun and ray gun as your offensive you may also buy sandbags to hide behind.

The downsides now. You never have any exploration beyond your front lawn as you are out on the porch defending it to the hilt. You have to go to main menu to reach your shed to find the additional weapons which can only be purchased with orbs but that is where it gets you. Beyond the 500 orbs they give you for upgrades you have to buy via credit/debit/Paypal or electronic check the collection of orbs ranging from 25,000 to 1,000,000 orbs. The cost is 25,000 Orbs is .99 cents to the 1,000,000 is 19.99 but let's face it, you spend at least ten bucks a month on most MMORPGs so why go crackers?

The so called music does not alter throughout the game and trust me, after 6 levels of it you will go to main menu and switch it off. No real strategy to speak of other than smoke as many you can in a row for better points. All in all, a classic causal shooter game that is simple to play without a lot of in-depth story-line to follow.

Ahh! They're swarming!!