Friday, December 19, 2014

Christmas You Pick Them: The Leprechaun's Christmas Gold

Well after four days of waiting to see if ANYONE had any viewing suggestions, I received one suggestion. That's right, one suggestion. Suffice it to say this will not occur again for a great while when I ask if ANYONE reading this blog had a film suggestion. So to get out of this funk my girlfriend and I sat through a few holiday themed movies such as: Frosty the Snowman, Frosty Returns and the original Chuck Jones animated and wonderfully narrated by Boris Karloff How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Feeling much better after some Christmas delight, we snapped on the next film that should... offend all of Ireland and its descendants. This portrayal of all things Irish needs be stricken from my mind. Since this is most unlikely I feel the need to share it with you good folks. This is Leprechaun's Christmas Gold.

I'm telling ya Phil, Hobbits get the plum roles in sci-fi fantasy.

Brought to us by Rankin/Bass (Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, The Little Drummer Boy, Santa Claus is Comin' to Town and The Year Without a Santa Claus) one would conclude this bright little stop animation we are about to view would be delightful and whimsical and your conclusions would be wrong. Our story opens with narration of a charming voice near and dear to any Honeymooners' fan (Art Carney of The Honeymooners, The Jackie Gleason Show, Harry and Tonto, Death Scream, Going in Style, Defiance, Better Late Than Never and Firestarter) of a young cabin boy name of Dinty Doyle who clumsily lands on an island inhabited by leprechauns and their accents are less guanine that Jennifer Aniston's nose after Leprechaun. He plucks up a tree that releases a thousand year old Banshee name of Old Mag the Hag who vows to claim the Leprechauns' gold before Christmas day and keep it for herself. Naturally the leprechauns are terrified of this ancient evil released once more to reek havoc on their shores again... through a jaunty tune. Head of the miner clan Blarney Kilakilarney (Art Carney) tells oafish boy Dinty the tale of the Banshee and how she attempted to steal it in the first place.

AH! Cher without botox!!!

The miner clan are no fools and nary fall for such malarkey as they shoo and shun the banshee away but those pudding head shoemaker clan are thicker than the soles of the shoes they make and agree to that gold is the root of all evil. Blarney knows it to be trap and refuses to offer the gold up. Can the leprechauns put the banshee in her place? Will the gold be safe? Will Dinty be vivisected and left, strapped to a cross as a warning to all others that dare tread on a leprechaun's domain?

A few nitpicks on the film now. No research was done for any Irish folklore at all. Banshees apparently are made of tears and can take different shapes... to con leprechauns out of gold. Considering every legend of banshee I am aware of they are omens of death and spirit manifestations of fairy that wash the bloodstained clothes and armor of those that are to die. Nope, turns out they are full of tears. Just a Randy Newman heart touching song away from the snivels.

The direct correlation to Christmas and mythic creatures of fae seems a tad odd to me and Carney and Faye (Peggy Cass of The Marrying Kind, Gidget Goes Hawaiian, The Hathaways and Age of Consent) is really the talented voice work in the bunch. Old Mag's (Christine Mitchell of The Leprechauns' Christmas Gold and Christie Malry's Own Double-Entry) is so irritating it sounds like Mariah Carey, nails on a chalkboard and Fran Drescher's Nanny laugh all rolled into one auditory nightmare guaranteed to cause hemmoraging. Rather than showing charity during Christmas, Blarney hoards the gold from the banshee causing her to melt away only after they bamboozle her and trap her away. Yeah, bait and switch during a Christmas show. Not one of Rankin/Bass better specials.

Blimey! um..Cor! Bloody Hell?