Well hello everyone and welcome to
Phantoms of the Year Day 1 and let's start off the New Year right
with a mediocrely shot and executed film with paltry music and the
weakest collection of punks/drag queens of what is supposed to be
L.A. Badasses. I envision a boy scout troop kicking the crap out of
them, pocketing their collective wad of sweaty singles and fives and
sending these pukes to the hospital. This is New Year's Evil
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| The Holiday Inn Slayer Strikes Again!!! |
An obsessive fan of a punk rock DJ icon
Diane "Blaze" Sullivan (Roz Kelly of The Owl and the
Pussycat, New Year's Evil, Full Moon High and American Pop)
has informed her that a naughty girl will die at the stroke of
midnight in each time zone before eventually coming after her.
Dubbing himself as "Evil" he taunts D telling her how she
is a horrible person and all this blood is now on her hands. So in
effect, a murder in a different city in each time zone will happen,
it will be someone she knows and she is powerless to stop it. Her
manager/husband Richard (Kip Niven of Magnum Force, Earthquake,
Damnation Alley and Walker, Texas Ranger) is trying to
coordinate with LAPD's detective on the scene Lt. Clayton (Chris
Wallace of Don't Answer the Phone, Body and Soul, Dead End, The
Secret and Rats and Cats) as the two try to figure out going
through D's mail who the killer could be and why would he do such a
thing? They couldn't afford John Saxon is my guess but hey I am not
nitpicking... yet.
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| Stay out of Mommy's cocaine, sweetie! |
To make this substantial amount of
travel and murder possible we can all come to the conclusion that
there may be more than a few killers working in concert for these
gruesome deaths or the guy can teleport like Jumper. Actually a
teleporting serial killer that leaves no trace evidence sounds far
cooler and I am jotting that down. Ahem, moving right along. With
each phone call that is somehow always getting connected through at
this phone-in request line when you and I cannot even get our music
requests in during a weekday let alone a major holiday, our killer is
dropping hints to his identity to Blaze and her hamster in the wheel
finally seems to be moving as she start to think that maybe she knows
the killer after all. With a helping of red herring even one cell
organisms can see through this thinly veiled plot, decipher who the
killer is and left unfulfilled.
Now to pick on the film. Our extras at
this rocking extravaganza could not have looked less lively unless
they were full on Romero zombies. The milling around the dance for
during Shadow's big number New Year's Evil was to die for. They
would not voom if you put 4 million volts through them! Blaze gets
one phone call that most would have deemed a crank call and she goes
ridged the whole night convince of terror abound. Our murderer tries
to remain in the shadows but we see his face most of the night and he
kinda looks like Tom Noonan of Manhunter with better hair.
The nuts at the sanitarium were more
bouncy than the crowd at the concert. My favorite goof is seeing a
crew member kneeling behind the kitchen equipment that one of the
cops walks behind and at least two boom mic appearances. The
electronic voice box unit the killer uses gets old real quick.
Sounds like lives are being threatened by Professor Stephen Hawking.
The disco bar was more rousing and festive than the punks... that
is just messed up. While all these murders are happening all around
America it is quite clear that it was not in the budget to leave L.A.
As I clearly saw Hollywood Boulevard "New York" and the
fricking Van Nuys Drive-In Theatre. A tolerable slasher but nothing
new, compelling or astounding by it. I love how the end seems to
almost set up for a sequel... that never happened.
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| Mickey Rooney is more punk than this band! |
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