Monday, December 29, 2014

Phantoms of the Year Week: New Year's Evil

Well hello everyone and welcome to Phantoms of the Year Day 1 and let's start off the New Year right with a mediocrely shot and executed film with paltry music and the weakest collection of punks/drag queens of what is supposed to be L.A. Badasses. I envision a boy scout troop kicking the crap out of them, pocketing their collective wad of sweaty singles and fives and sending these pukes to the hospital. This is New Year's Evil

The Holiday Inn Slayer Strikes Again!!!

An obsessive fan of a punk rock DJ icon Diane "Blaze" Sullivan (Roz Kelly of The Owl and the Pussycat, New Year's Evil, Full Moon High and American Pop) has informed her that a naughty girl will die at the stroke of midnight in each time zone before eventually coming after her. Dubbing himself as "Evil" he taunts D telling her how she is a horrible person and all this blood is now on her hands. So in effect, a murder in a different city in each time zone will happen, it will be someone she knows and she is powerless to stop it. Her manager/husband Richard (Kip Niven of Magnum Force, Earthquake, Damnation Alley and Walker, Texas Ranger) is trying to coordinate with LAPD's detective on the scene Lt. Clayton (Chris Wallace of Don't Answer the Phone, Body and Soul, Dead End, The Secret and Rats and Cats) as the two try to figure out going through D's mail who the killer could be and why would he do such a thing? They couldn't afford John Saxon is my guess but hey I am not nitpicking... yet.

Stay out of Mommy's cocaine, sweetie!

To make this substantial amount of travel and murder possible we can all come to the conclusion that there may be more than a few killers working in concert for these gruesome deaths or the guy can teleport like Jumper. Actually a teleporting serial killer that leaves no trace evidence sounds far cooler and I am jotting that down. Ahem, moving right along. With each phone call that is somehow always getting connected through at this phone-in request line when you and I cannot even get our music requests in during a weekday let alone a major holiday, our killer is dropping hints to his identity to Blaze and her hamster in the wheel finally seems to be moving as she start to think that maybe she knows the killer after all. With a helping of red herring even one cell organisms can see through this thinly veiled plot, decipher who the killer is and left unfulfilled.

Now to pick on the film. Our extras at this rocking extravaganza could not have looked less lively unless they were full on Romero zombies. The milling around the dance for during Shadow's big number New Year's Evil was to die for. They would not voom if you put 4 million volts through them! Blaze gets one phone call that most would have deemed a crank call and she goes ridged the whole night convince of terror abound. Our murderer tries to remain in the shadows but we see his face most of the night and he kinda looks like Tom Noonan of Manhunter with better hair.

The nuts at the sanitarium were more bouncy than the crowd at the concert. My favorite goof is seeing a crew member kneeling behind the kitchen equipment that one of the cops walks behind and at least two boom mic appearances. The electronic voice box unit the killer uses gets old real quick. Sounds like lives are being threatened by Professor Stephen Hawking. The disco bar was more rousing and festive than the punks... that is just messed up. While all these murders are happening all around America it is quite clear that it was not in the budget to leave L.A. As I clearly saw Hollywood Boulevard "New York" and the fricking Van Nuys Drive-In Theatre. A tolerable slasher but nothing new, compelling or astounding by it. I love how the end seems to almost set up for a sequel... that never happened.

Mickey Rooney is more punk than this band!