Okie dokie, I am back with the week
called Obscure Italian Horror. Why this reference? Well I haven't
received any new ideas so I found this flicks on the former Ban or
Video Nasty list. How does that sound to me? Probably a world of
pain and swallowing back vomit. This is Beyond the Darkness.
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| I sure hope my husband doesn't go nuts after my death. |
Taxidermist Frank (Kieran Canter
of Liebes Lager, Deep Thoughts, Erotic Flash, The Lonely Lady, The
Rise of the Roman Empress, The Devil in Mr. Holmes and Una donna per
tunni) seems to be an orphaned trust fund kid that like to
work on exotic animals that may or may not be entirely legal but
Italy is a bit leinent because...maybe he like the smell of dead
animal in the morning. While moving a few dead critters, it is
found out his wife Anna (Cinzia Monreale of Beyond the
Darkness, Flatfoot on the Nile, The Beyond, The Sweet House of
Horrors, Under the Skin and Dark Signal) is in the hospital
at her literal deathbed. His housekeeper Iris (Franca Stoppi
of Dog Lay Afternoon, Pasion, Guardian of Hell, Violence in a Woman's
Prison, Women's Prison Massacre and La gorilla) blew off
mentioning this to Frank as it slipped her mind... tee hee.
Frank rushes to the hospital in true
slow motion allowed and arrives just in time as Anna is at her final
moments. What does our grieving widower do? Why steals her body,
stuff her full of sawdust in true Norman Bates fashion and keep her
in the house obviously. It was about this time in the film I
noticed that Frank might be a tad crackers but we all deal with loss
differently. The healing process for Frank consists of picking up a
random hitchhiker (Luica D' Elia of Take All of Me and Beyond
the Darkness), letting her roam around his palatial pad and
mutilating bit by bit then finishing off with an acid bath and having
his housekeeper in the carnal sense???
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| Mmm, my love's heart is the tastiest! |
Naturally this leads to picking up a
jogger with a twisted ankle who looks like she just threw herself on
the dirt. Guess the logic when like this: Hmm, that guy looks cute
and maybe I will get in a nooner before work. Jogger girl (Anna
Cardini of Tutto suo padre, Loggerheads, Delitto al ristorante cinese
and Beyond Borders) by the by doesn't even have a name. Yup,
three to five minutes of screen time and Frank is already attempting
to plow her without any knowledge of who she is, does she have any
hobbies, what her life goals are and so on. Proceeding said plowing
on the bed of which still shares with his dead wife he bites out
jogger girl's throat. Iris assists Frank in body disposal with a
furnance...which begs the question, why didn't he dispose of the
hitchhiker with this too? Oh right, he is kookier than a rat trapped
in an outhouse.
The police actually noticed this girl's
disappearance and is canvasing the area where she was last
seen...around Frank's neighborhood...and Frank is twitchy. Nope, no
clues here. Frank is visited by what he thinks is the ghost of Anna
but no, she is her twin sister Elena. This clearly upsets Frank as
his whacky new hobby of absconding strange women and killing them in
bizarre fashions could be ruined so it is best to do her in too??
Iris preps the house for a party and
randomly announces she and Frank are tying the knot and no one in the
party could have looked more confused than Frank. So is this the
weirdest flick by exploitation director Joe D' Amato (Porno
Holocaust, Ator the Eagle, The Blade Master, Zombie 5: Killing Birds,
The Hobgoblin and Deep Blood)? Will Frank lay low or will
his blood lust rise again?
A few points of trivia. Yes the man
that brought us this odd flick also created the Ator movies, one of
which is also known as Cave Dwellers, the alternative title to The
Blade Master. Today's film consists of alternative titles such as:
Zombi 10, Bio Omega, House 6: El terror continua, Blue Holocaust,
Demencia and Buried Alive.
The movie is fast paced, bizarre and
offers a wide range of emotions but for God's sake DO NOT let the
kids watch this and you may want to skip dinner while viewing this.
My stomach has gotten fairly hardcore but there are a few scenes that
made it skip, flip and churn so best to not tempt the fates or vomit.
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| Oh those pushy hitchhikers. |
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