Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Linda Blair Week: Grotesque


Greetings readers and welcome back to Day 3 of Linda Blair Week. I cannot get over how many horror flicks Linda Blair has actually done. Looks like actor Joe Tornatore is directing this film time around. A jaunt out to a vacation cabin turns into a bloodbath. This is Grotesque.


We will join your pajama party, one way or the other!
















Lisa's (Linda Blair of Savage Streets, Red Heat, Savage Island, Nightforce, Silent Assassins, Witchery, Bad Blood, The Chilling, Zapped Again and Fatal Bond) family is loaded thanks to Dad's occupation being an FX artist, designer and sculpter. Orville Kruger's (Guy Stockwell of Adventures in Paradise, Tobruk, Return to Peyton's Place, It's Alive and Santa Sangre) work is in high demand and word sneaks around the snowy town that there are riches in that house.

Lisa's friend Kathy (Donna Wilkes of Days of Our Lives, Jaws 2, Almost Summer, Fyre, Hard Knocks, Hello, Larry, Blood Song, Angel, My Stepbrother Is A Vampire!?! and 90210 Shark Attack) is joining Lisa for a relaxing time into the woods and get over getting dumped...or so they thought. Now while it was a running gag in 80s to have roving gangs of punks I did start laughing when they appeared in VW vans lead by their gregarious leader Scratch (Brad Wilson of Scorpion, Under the Boardwalk, Angel Fire, Art Deco Detective, Dominion and Theodore Rex) and his giggly, loopy right hand man, Gibbs (Nel Van Patten of Young Warriors, Summer School, Ghost Writer, Face the Edge, Camp Fear, Mirror Images and Live Wire) are convinced mad treasure is in the house. Weird, third Linda Blair flick I am reviewing and another Van Patten arises.


Leatherface's cousin: Pork Scratchings Face.














The gangers start gacking the family and trashing the house in search for the illusive funds, they kick open a door to a hidden room. Aha! The jewels and gold would be anyone's take, right​? The deranged and deformed hunchback Patrick (Bob Apisa of The Last Boy Scout, Nowhere to Run, Marked for Murder, Point of No Return, The Sandlot, Hard Target and The Glimmer Man)leaps out and starts making mincemeat out of them. What the hell is going on in this house!?!

Our punkers are a mixed bag. From the foxy Donna (Sharon Hughes of The Last Horror Film, Chained Heat, The Man Who Loved Women, Hard to Hold, Jackals and Mission: Killfast), the bulging eyed Eric (horror/sci-fi B movie legend, the late Robert Z'Dar of Maniac Cop, Samurai Cop, The Legend of Wolf Mountain, Frogtown II, Soultaker, Silent Fury and Red Line) running for their lives as Patrick bounds after them.   Lisa half frozen outside is found by the authorities.

Will Patrick cease his murderous rage? Can the cops clear up this whole mess?




This film take the typical tropes of the eighties and turns it on its ear. The twists and turns from the traditional demented creature film it bring some fair FX, decent graphic death scenes and an impressive story. I have seen countless remarks, insults and negative reviews without any objectivity on it. This was an impressive cast really just getting their feet wet with Blair leading the film as well as being a producer on the film.  Folks deem this "The worst thing ever filmed," clearly they haven't sat through Jesus Franco's Zombie Lake. Now that's a complete turd waffle.


I wonder what Father Murphy would say.