Good Action: Nighthawks

Well hello there! I bet you were expecting some Obscure Italian Horror movie. Nah, I think I got my point across but dammit I do need input on the flow of reviews, what you think I should be tackling and what really makes for good TV, Movie and Video Games. That being said, the story we are about to take on what intended to be the third in the French Connection that would have teamed up Gene Hackman's Popeye Doyle with a wisecracking smart ass cop probably played by Richard Pryor. Hackman showed next to no interest in doing a third movie so writer David Shaber (Such Good Friends, The Warriors, Last Embrace, Rollover and Flight of the Intruder) bought the rights to it, tinkered with it and released it under the title it is better known for. This is Nighthawks.

We in the club!..  I'll slap myself for that one.

There are approximately 2 major stories as well as 3 sub-stories in our films so if you get lost, I will toss you a Marty McFly life jacket. Our main story revolves around the ruthless terrorist Wulfgar (Rutger Hauer of LadyHawke, Bladerunner, The Hitcher, Blind Fury, Split Second, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Batman Begins) a marksman and demolition expert whose only cause is himself and striking fear into those that wronged him. After a department store bombing in London goes awry, Wulfgar needs a new identity, papers and even a new face to stay off the grid.

In the streets of New York, two street crime cops pull stings to rid of muggers, rapists and gangers as Detective Sergeants DaSilva (Slyvester Stallone of Rocky, First Blood, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Cliffhanger, Daylight, Copland and The Expendables) and Fox (Billy Dee Williams of Carter's Army, Hit!, The Take, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Fear City, Batman, Mask of Death and Steel Sharks) pull up the scum off the ground like so much chewing gum and toss it in the trash...or jail if you prefer. No sooner are they serving a high-risk warrant, our boys discover there are corrupt cops in with the dealers and all Hell breaks loose. 

Why yes, I was in The Hitcher.

Wulfgar meets with his contacts for papers and cash when the delivery man takes too long and sweats. Wulfgar senses a trap and smokes him along with three constables from London Metro. Chief Inspector Hartman (Nigel Davenport of Play Dirty, A Man for All Seasons, Phase IV, The Island of Dr. Moreau, Chariots of Fire and Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes) knows Wulfgar in and out and finds from his documents he is making his way to New York.

With the brewing storm of NYPD corruption going to be proved in what the fellas saw, their lieutenant sends them to Hartman as a division of an counter-terrorist task force given their experience in Vietnam. What you call Hell, Rambo calls New York. With their street savvy, knowledge of the fences, middlemen and weapons dealers, they hope to capture Wulfgar once and for all.

But hey we haven't had any ladies in this thus far. Enter DaSilva's estranged ex-wife Irene (Lindsay Wagner of The Paper Chase, The Bionic Woman, Ricochet, Thicker Than Water and Warehouse 13) attempts to deal with her ex-hubby's high-risk work and the fear of him dying on the streets broke them up in the first place but they both want to try to put things back together.

Meanwhile, Wulfgar's partner, in every sense of the word, Shakka (Persis Khambatta of Conduct Unbecoming, The Man with the Power, Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Megaforce and Warrior of the Lost World) tells Wulfgar his methods that slaughtered children were just too risque for his fellow terrorists so they wash their hands of him. In case that did read a bit wacky, HIS METHODS DID NOT WORK WELL WITH TERRORISTS.

Hartman and DaSilva seem to be on the same page with Wulfgar and they want him dead or alive at this point. Will they succeed? Will Wulfgar escape and get to plow Shakka?

The film had a "Rocky" start to begin with when director Gary Nelson (Get Smart, Freaky Friday, The Black Hole, Allan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold and Early Edition) was let go from the project after a week's production to be replaced by Bruce Malmuth, who at the time only been a second unit director for a couple of scenes of Foreplay, was unable to shoot the first day after Nelson was canned, so Stallone stepped up to shoot a scene for the day, being the chase in the subway. Yes they got fined for it by the Directors Guild of America due to "burning daylight" is not considered an emergency.

Rutger Hauer was injured on the set thanks to a malfunctioning squib (bullet wound triggered by remote control with a blood pack) burned him and getting yanked on a harness line through a window (with spun sugar glass) that jacked his back. Hauer and Stallone apparently had shouting matches that would have made Christian Bale blush at the choice metaphors.

Nothing more vicious in this flick than the damn MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) that gave the original cut of the movie an X rating due to its gore and graphic content that is actually nowhere near as bloody as say Dirty Harry, The Mechanic or even The French Connection. Re-editing and new submission was still deemed too violent for even an R rating. 

PHOENIIIXXXXX!!!!!!!

 

Obscure Italian Horror: The Beyond

Welcome back everyone for another helping of Obscure Italian Horror. Once again I am most annoyed as this is another Lucio Fulchi film, the second in the unofficial Gates of Hell trilogy and it really steams my clams when...I really have nothing to bitch and complain about. I simply refer to this trilogy as Messing with Actress Katherine MacColl. Because she was in all three movies as different characters and...I'm thinking you didn't need this review to be that meta. Yeah this flick is warped, demented and damn creepy so no complaints about special effects, acting or camera angles. This is The Beyond.

Hey buddy, this hand smell rotten to you?

So we have a mob off for a lynching and you know it's supposed to be a flashback because it is filmed in sepia filter. Also the villagers are dressed in later 1800s attire with pitchforks and honest to God torches. No one screamed, "Kill the monster!" so that was a bit disappointing. We get a voice over establishing there are seven gateways it seven cursed places...two of which I am guessing is in The City of the Living Dead and House by the Cemetery but that is also speculation. Our angry mob of 1927 does not heed the words of the warlock Schweick (Antoine Saint-John of Duck, You Sucker. My Name is Nobody, The Beyond, Ginger and Fred and Cross) that the hotel he lives at is built on one of the seven gates to damnation, Hell um take your pick and that his unnatural death may bring about destruction, brimstone and the dead rising from the grave. Pretty heavy stuff to consider, right? Eh, screw it. Let's kill him anyway.

Cut to 1981 as we go on a road trip with Liza (Katherine MacColl of City of the Living Dead, House By the Cemetery, Man Eaters, Afraid of the Dark and Mafiosa), a plucky gal all the way from New York City (NEW YORK CITY??!!!) who has inhereted the hotel and decides to turn it into a charming bed and breakfast. I can't fault her there, it is a lovely house with spacious windows, good hardwood floors and a charming atmosphere...that may open a portal to Hell.

Well, beats playing an organ and staring at Utah...(Carnival of Souls reference)

No sooner does Liza get some work done on the house, one of the painters plummets off a scaffolding causing him to spit up fake blood. Seriously though, he was less than 30 feet up and landed on his back, hitting no rocks or piping so not sure what happened. Dr. McCabe (David Warbeck of Trog, Journey to Murder, Twins of Evil, Duck, You Sucker, Sex Thief and Sudden Fury) has painter move as he mumbled something about her eyes.

Liza actually got a plumber name of Joe (Giovanni De Nava of The Beyond, The House by the Cemetery, Murder-Rock:Dancing Death and Un foro nel parabrezza)on time to deal with the flooding and strange happenings when a evil hand pops out of the dirt and gouges his eye out. The creeper maid discovers Joe's body and everyone views it as an accidental death. Even his poor wife and kid viewing his body in the morgue think so..until his wife is treated to an hydrochloric acid facial and his daughter attacked by zombies. The police seem to think there may be a pattern to this violence and bug the crap out of Liza. Typical small-town lazy cop gotta blame the newcomer to these here parts. Liza meets a blind woman with the funkiest contacts, Emily (Cinzia Monreale of Beyond the Darkness, Flatfoot on the Nile, The Beyond, The Sweet House of Horrors, Madre come te and Dark Signal) who tells her to never re-open the hotel, how Schwieck died and very cryptic on the whole Gate of Hell aspect. Personally that would be the opening argument, followed by detailed charts, graphs and testimony of spirits. Ignoring Emily's warnings, Liza investigates Schwieck's room and discovers an ancient book right out of Lovecraft, The Book of Eibon (Tales of the demented wizard claiming he plane walked other worlds, met his deity Zhothaqquah and other such crazy.), also Schwieck's nailed corpse is on the neighboring wall. She is calmed by John, who appears for whatever reason and she takes him upstairs only to find the book and Schwieck to not be there. Will the gate open? Will more have to die for the Devil's B &B?

Shot in Lazio Italy the location scouts stateside got that huge two lane stretch bridge in Lake Charles Louisiana shot about 5 in the evening giving an eerie appearance. The hotel was actually the Otis House in Madisonville, LA and it is clearly a house of the latter 1800's with gorgous staircase, double pane glass and some of the finer oak floors. Yeah I like older houses. They have character.

Deemed a Video Nasty in the day, there are about 3 different cuts to this movie. The original runs at 87 minutes but its audio is in mono, the R-rated version is 80 mins and the 82 minute version is Dolby sound but has several key scene removed because it would scare the panties off the Americans...or some such. Bottom line, get the 87 min version and just tune your stereo quad to 5.1 and you will enjoy the creepy score and hear all the screams you want. That being said, the spoilers are eye gouging and spiders crawling across bodies. Hey, I don't want you folks watching it and having an issue I didn't warn you. It's suspenseful, odd, dark and beautifully shot.

Geez, these frat initiations are rough!

Obscure Italian Horror: StageFright: Aquarius

Back again with more Obscure Italian Horror...because I can...also no one has written against it yet so again RottenReelzReviews at Facebook or oddly enough you can write rottenreelzreviews.blogspot.com for suggestions, hints, ideas or general comments or complaints.

So we have experienced some of the greats and some of the not-so-brilliant. This time around is director Michele Soavi (The Church, La setta, Cemetery Man, Francesco, The Goodbye Kiss, Blood of the Losers, Political Target and Anti-Drug Squad) a man that has acting with likes of directors Lucio Fulchi, Dario Argento, Joe D' Amato and Lamberto Bava that he decided to throw his hat in the directing wing with bizarre camera angles, mood lighting and scores of orchestral to electric to add to the tension. Soavi's directorial debut does not disappoint. This is Stagefright: Aquarius.

LEARN....YOUR....LINES!!!!!

The subtle writings of George Eastman (Jailbirds, American Fever, Anthropophagus, Sexy Nights of the Living Dead, Porno Holocaust and 2020 Freedom Fighters) left me worried this was going to be another boobage and gore fest but apparently not quite. Our story opens on a troupe of actors who are struggling from the grueling performance of their production. Our lead, Alicia (Barbara Cupisti of Opera, The Church, Flight from Paradise, Cemetery Man and Only You) sprains her ankle. The wardrobe mistress Betty (Ulrike Schwerek of StageFright: Aquarius) and she drive up to the nearest hospital that just so happens to be an insane asylum...FORESHADOW ANYONE???? While speaking with one of the psychiatrists, Betty finds out that a famous actor Irving Wallace (Clain Parker of StageFright: Aquarius and Eleven Days, Eleven Nights) resides here after a nervous breakdown...Irving manages to sneak out of the whacko basket and slip into Alicia's trunk (boot for you folks across the pond) and no one is the wiser.    And you wonder why I don't want to leave anywhere near a mental hospital.

This cast is dead on their feet!  I'll slap myself for the pun.

With their director Peter (David Brandon of The Blade Master, Don't Wait Up, High Frequency, The Prince of Terror, Modi, Casablanca Express and Neverlake) cracking the whip he informs the cast they are locking the theater down until they get it right. An extravagant dance number with some hot saxophone brings out some excellent choreography to this performance art including an axe murder scene... no earthly idea why that was added when it is revealed the dancer in question was actually murdered. The troupe scared out of their minds demand Peter let them go when they realize he no longer has the key to the doors, the phones aren't working and they are cut off from the rest of the world. Will they make it out alive to call the cops? Will they all be picked off one by one?

A few tidbits of trivia now. There is an excellent scene where Brett (Giovanni Lombardo Radice of City of the Living Dead, Cannibal Ferox, Gangs of New York and The Omen) bows before a full length mirror only to see suddenly Irving there to dispatch him. A nod to Argento's Tenebre. Composed by Simon Boswell known for his creepier scores from Argento's Phenomena, Bava's Demons 2, Mortal Sins and Hardware it really builds proper tension, suspense and terror.

Shot with 35mm Spherical and using that fish eye lens for a 45 degree slant down corridors and wonderful panned shots brings all the bleakness together easily. For you gore fans there are chainsaw scenes, decapitations and general mayhem that will satisfy your bloodlust. For your more sophisticated pallet, you will find this to be a thriller as much as a slasher so the death scenes give off a sense of style and finesse.

Deborah Harry wants her wig back?  Damn.

Obscure Italian Horror: Blood and Black Lace

Welcome back to RottenReelzReviews!!! How's about some more Horror movies??!!! Yeah I am still on the Obscure Italian Horror Movie kick. This time around we are moving over to an old school director Mario Bava (Hercules in the Haunted World, Black Sunday, Evil Eye, A Bay of Blood and Baron Blood). This Godfather of Gore brings oddities of Horror, some disturbing giallos and many a demonic story arc. This is Blood and Black Lace.

Darkman??!!

A lovely young model Isabella (Francesca Ungaro of Forbidden Temptations and Blood and Black Lace) is brutally dispatched by some lunatic in a white cotton mask. Left at the grounds of the boarding house ran by Max Marian (Cameron Mitchell of How the West Was Won, Texas Detour, Fantasy Island, The Guns and the Fury, Kill Squad, Dixie Ray Hollywood Star, The Tomb, Space Mutiny and Demon Cop) and his lover, the widow Countess Cristina Como (Eva Bartok of Victoria and Her Hussar, Orient Express, Break in the Circle. The Gamma People, Naked in the Night, Operation Amsterdam, SOS Pacific and Beyond the Curtain).

The good Inspector Silvester (Thomas Reiner of Der Floh im Ohr, Die Rechnung- eiskalt serviert, The Three Fantastic Supermen, Das Kriminalmuseum, Die Spinnstube and The Black Forest Clinic) assigned to the case finds this all to be too convenient. Max insists he has no idea why such a thing would happen but he will offer whatever aid he can to the inspector. The fashion house they both run seems to have a seedy underbelly of corruption, blackmail, drug related charges and other various sins to it but the inspector cannot put both the Countess and Max directly to it when it is revealed that Isabella may have had a diary keeping track of all such vices and the people linked to it. 

Darling, our relationship is less likely to survive than a Hammer film for critique.

Another model Nicole (Ariana Gorini of Unexpected, Blood and Black Lace and the Revenge of Ivanhoe) finds the diary and promptly wants to take it to the police but another girl Peggy lifts the diary from Nicole's purse and has it for herself. No sooner does Nicole make off to an antique store to visit her wayward man that she is attacked by the same killer with a cestus (armored spiked gauntlet commonly used for gladiatorial games) crushing her face and killing her instantly. Tossing her purse and patting her down he finds no diary and super runs away.. Will the inspector figure out who is behind these murders and/or who is next?

Interesting thing about our movie is this is one of the earliest and most influential of all Giallo films and more or less set the tone for some of the early 80's slasher films in style and overall body count. Each of the murder scenes are unique involving unusual choices for dispatching death to these attractive women. The lighting giving off blues, greens, purples and reds seems to signify the moods of terror and helplessness. It is clearly were Scorsese and Dario Argento developed their need for that artistic flair in film.

The macabre atmosphere is well paced, doesn't develop the models more than two dimensional but give some genuine scares and unpredictable murders. The twists and turns of this 1964 psychological thriller really offered a lot more terror and gore than the 60's crowd really saw stateside. So if you like seeing pretty petty girls gacked, a web of lies and deceit unravel and some decent gore effects then you are in luck. I was very impressed with this rare gem of giallo.

Rorschach falls to petty thievery because...he doesn't have Bruce Wayne money.

Obscure Italian Horror: Beyond Darkness

Hey gang! Yeah I'm back for more Obscure Italian Horror movies. Say, what is more odd than a Lucio Fulchi movie? Well anything created solely by writer/director Claudio Fragasso (Monster Dog, Zombi 3, Strike Commando 2, After Death, Troll 2 and The Squad). Claudio is responsible for several Bruno Mattei films via "writing". Bringing such goofiness as Hell of the Living Dead, Guardian of Hell, Women's Prison Massacre, Rats: Night of Terror, Strike Commando, Double Target, Robowar, Cop Game, Zombi 3 and Shocking Dark has been most of the knock offs that Horror, Action and Sci-fi has flooded the market for more than 30 years.

Our odd creation today is deemed an unofficial sequel due to mass distribution of a series of every five years to having translation errors that often occur. With the titles of Ghosthouse 2, Evil Dead 5, House 5 and Horror House II, it actually is no wonder most people cannot find this even at Wal-Mart. The most common official title of our movie is found in Amazon so by God let's go with that.  This is Beyond Darkness.

Kids, stop playing with dark forces and go take your baths.

First off, IMDB's synopsis is crap as our minister turns out to be a priest so already huge separation between Catholic and Protestant faith. Secondly, since when does a priest have a family?? Yup I was a trifle baffled at this. Father George (David Brandon of She, Cave Dwellers a.k.a. The Blade Master, The Lost City, Warrior Queen, Eleven Days, Eleven Nights and The Maharaja's Daughter) gives the last rites to a serial child killer and attends her execution. She claims to have devoured their souls and thus giving her power over the world. Her wacky Satanic bible apparently effects the father making him (ALL TOGETHER NOW) question his faith.

Father Peter (Gene Lebrock of Santa Barbara, Fortress of Amerikkka: The Mercenaries, Metamorphosis, Night of the Beast and Fatal Choice) moves his family into a less than savory house. Less all white exterior like say Amityville Horror but a house that definitely defies logic and registers at least a 8 on the Weird Crap 'O Meter.

The good father and his wife Annie (Barbara Bingham of The Octagon, Splitz, Death Mask, The Colbys, Real Men, Knots Landing, Friday the 13^th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan and Cop Target) start to notice odd sounds and sights and begin to wonder if they got this house under other reasons. With a little background investigation (GOOGLE IT DAMMIT!!) we find out that the house was built on the same land when twenty witches lost their britches because all went up in flames via witch hunt and trials. 

 

Witch wardrobe brought to you by Glad bags.

It is almost as Father George's faith was the only thing keeping these maleficent spirits at bay as they are tormenting the family of which one of the children is none other than Michael Stephenson of Troll 2 and The Paper Brigade. Ahh Troll 2...what dog flop. George combines his forces with Peter and they are MEGA PRIEST!!! Actually they engage the spirits in the rites of exorcism but Mega Priest sounded cooler. Would have settled for Captain Catholic too. Can the padres duo banish the spirits?? Will their faith waiver?? Will Pazuzu of Exorcist II: The Heretic make an appearance?

Let's break it down. The practical appliances and effects aren't bad, just dated. A lot of dry ice and back lighting was used so you know there wasn't a huge budget and everyone is written like a one dimensional stereotype. Our pace is dragging so much that snails begin to lap us, the intentions and ideas behind this film clearly feel like they have been lifted from both Poltergeist and The Exorcist but poorly executed. It was said at one point, Fragasso's people tried to get Linda Blair into the project but she shot that down toot sweet. B- for effort, fellas but the lady can do more than spit pea soup. As far as DVD releases this seems to be only found as a double feature for George Eastman's Metamorphosis on Blu-ray. Yea not even a DVD release. 

Confessions of a Priest...The Behind Bars Edition!

 

Obscure Italian Horror: Beyond the Darkness

Okie dokie, I am back with the week called Obscure Italian Horror. Why this reference? Well I haven't received any new ideas so I found this flicks on the former Ban or Video Nasty list. How does that sound to me? Probably a world of pain and swallowing back vomit. This is Beyond the Darkness.

I sure hope my husband doesn't go nuts after my death.

Taxidermist Frank (Kieran Canter of Liebes Lager, Deep Thoughts, Erotic Flash, The Lonely Lady, The Rise of the Roman Empress, The Devil in Mr. Holmes and Una donna per tunni) seems to be an orphaned trust fund kid that like to work on exotic animals that may or may not be entirely legal but Italy is a bit leinent because...maybe he like the smell of dead animal in the morning. While moving a few dead critters, it is found out his wife Anna (Cinzia Monreale of Beyond the Darkness, Flatfoot on the Nile, The Beyond, The Sweet House of Horrors, Under the Skin and Dark Signal) is in the hospital at her literal deathbed. His housekeeper Iris (Franca Stoppi of Dog Lay Afternoon, Pasion, Guardian of Hell, Violence in a Woman's Prison, Women's Prison Massacre and La gorilla) blew off mentioning this to Frank as it slipped her mind... tee hee.

Frank rushes to the hospital in true slow motion allowed and arrives just in time as Anna is at her final moments. What does our grieving widower do? Why steals her body, stuff her full of sawdust in true Norman Bates fashion and keep her in the house obviously. It was about this time in the film I noticed that Frank might be a tad crackers but we all deal with loss differently. The healing process for Frank consists of picking up a random hitchhiker (Luica D' Elia of Take All of Me and Beyond the Darkness), letting her roam around his palatial pad and mutilating bit by bit then finishing off with an acid bath and having his housekeeper in the carnal sense???

Mmm, my love's heart is the tastiest!

Naturally this leads to picking up a jogger with a twisted ankle who looks like she just threw herself on the dirt. Guess the logic when like this: Hmm, that guy looks cute and maybe I will get in a nooner before work. Jogger girl (Anna Cardini of Tutto suo padre, Loggerheads, Delitto al ristorante cinese and Beyond Borders) by the by doesn't even have a name. Yup, three to five minutes of screen time and Frank is already attempting to plow her without any knowledge of who she is, does she have any hobbies, what her life goals are and so on. Proceeding said plowing on the bed of which still shares with his dead wife he bites out jogger girl's throat. Iris assists Frank in body disposal with a furnance...which begs the question, why didn't he dispose of the hitchhiker with this too? Oh right, he is kookier than a rat trapped in an outhouse.

The police actually noticed this girl's disappearance and is canvasing the area where she was last seen...around Frank's neighborhood...and Frank is twitchy. Nope, no clues here. Frank is visited by what he thinks is the ghost of Anna but no, she is her twin sister Elena. This clearly upsets Frank as his whacky new hobby of absconding strange women and killing them in bizarre fashions could be ruined so it is best to do her in too??

Iris preps the house for a party and randomly announces she and Frank are tying the knot and no one in the party could have looked more confused than Frank. So is this the weirdest flick by exploitation director Joe D' Amato (Porno Holocaust, Ator the Eagle, The Blade Master, Zombie 5: Killing Birds, The Hobgoblin and Deep Blood)? Will Frank lay low or will his blood lust rise again?

A few points of trivia. Yes the man that brought us this odd flick also created the Ator movies, one of which is also known as Cave Dwellers, the alternative title to The Blade Master. Today's film consists of alternative titles such as: Zombi 10, Bio Omega, House 6: El terror continua, Blue Holocaust, Demencia and Buried Alive.

The movie is fast paced, bizarre and offers a wide range of emotions but for God's sake DO NOT let the kids watch this and you may want to skip dinner while viewing this. My stomach has gotten fairly hardcore but there are a few scenes that made it skip, flip and churn so best to not tempt the fates or vomit. 

Oh those pushy hitchhikers.

Robowar

Back again ladies and gents and do I have an award-winning film I want to talk about. By award-winning I mean steady yourselves for a boat load of Razzies and fiery poops from Hell. This moving pictures was brought to us overseas via Italian exploitation director Bruno Mattei (Hell of the Living Dead, Rats: Night of Terror, Strike Commando, Cop Game, Zombi 3 and Terminator 2 a.k.a. Shocking Dark) who is known for lifting plot, music and even stock footage of existing films all the while hiding under pseudonyms to avoid lawsuits. I was dying when I discovered that Cruel Jaws a.k.a. Jaws 5 lifted footage from Jaws, Jaws 2 and the knock off Jaws films Mako: The Jaws of Death and The Last Shark. So what do I have for you today? How about a knock-off hybrid of The Predator and Robcop? This is Robowar.

JAKODAAAAAA!!!!!!!  Oh wait, wrong flick.

For a director whose stock-in-trade is women in prison flicks and blatant rip-off films involving sci-fi, action and horror, this movie should not have been a big shock to me and yet here we are. Leading a team of commandos in the bush (jungle! Stop being pervy!) Major Murphy Black (Reb Brown of Yor, Hunter of the Future, Uncommon Valor, Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf, Space Mutiny, Strike Commando,Cage and Night Claw) is recruited by the CIA to rescue hostages taken by guerilla fighters in a Central American country...hey doesn't this synopsis seem familiar?? I mean Arnold's name isn't on the box but gosh if this doesn't sound like the Predator. So Slab McBeef Large and his crew sneak into the jungle and you can tell this is a Mattei film. Not just for the low budget but once again he hires Italian Chuck Norris Massimo Vanni (The Last Shark, 1990: The Bronx Warriors, Warriors of the Wasteland, Escape from the Bronx, Double Target, Cop Game, Zombi 3 and Shocking Dark) who I kid you not looks like a brunette Chuck. It is eerie.

Billy, you're on beer run and stop grinning!

 What is actually going on is our "Mac" knock off tells the team that a government engineered cyborg was set into the jungles to be tested out in real time, wipe out the guerrillas and assess his capabilities but due to plot device or sunspots, the remote link was severed and now he is blowing up stock footage of Double Target and Strike Commando. Once again, this an Italian film shot in the Phillipines so you know that if you trek 500 yards from this "movie set" you will run into the many fortresses used as Women in Prison films.

The biggest complaint of this movie is the early 80's synthesizer for our musical scoring. I feel like I am watching an episode of Miami Vice that Michael Mann didn't direct so you knew there was piss poor story and no Jan Hammer music. The action is fair, the acting competent and over all not bad if I hadn't seen the original inception I might actually enjoy this mindless blood and guts flick. Don't worry Reb Brown fans, our boy is still inhaling helium for his episodic and incoherent screaming...classics like "MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!!!", "GO, GO GO!!!" and my personal favorite of WAAAUGGGHH!!! But we kid Captain America of the 70's as he has a much better build than this writer hands down. Another so bad it's good. Penned by Claudio Fragasso (Women's Prison Massacre, Strike Commando, Shocking Dark, Zombi 3, Troll 2 and The 13^th Mission) you are in for many acquired line and cheesy delivery. Oh the only version I could find was with Filipino so yay me for international.

Screw this! I'm going to the Terminator 2 set!