Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Henry Rollins: Up for It

Welcome back my gregarious readers. I know that in your hearts you want even more Henry Rollins information. Okay, if you didn't want to know, skip this article. 

From 1979 to 1980, Henry was working as a roadie for Teen Idles and Bad Brains (two D.C. Based Punk bands back when Lincoln was in office) and wrote several songs for State of Alert as front man and lead vocalist only to disband after 3 dozen concerts only to line up his give with Black Flag. With that all in mind, how about a journey through Rollins' frontal lobes? Sounds terrifying? Well buckle up boneheads, cuz we're going for a ride. This is Henry Rollins: Up for It.

Yes he does work out.

In 2001, at the end of a three month tour, it was decided Rollins would bring his brand of humor, worldly experience and bizarre road stories to his crowd of London where he informs people of his trips to Australia, how Aussies fear next to nothing around the planet never worried about Nature's wrath. Favorite story is him reading about a Canadian man mashing his wang with a toilet seat in a Starbucks...for whatever reason that guy did that. I cannot wrap my head around why any man needs that level of pain, what possessed him to even try that and how hung was he. Sorry brain went to the dark side for a moment.

America's myopic view on the rest of the planet does cloud your mindset. Experiencing travel against customs and cultures allowing to appreciate the difference in morality and what is accepted. While in Bangkok, Rollins is being harassed at 1 in the morning on the mission for nothing more than mineral water, Rollins is accosted by cabbies offering underage girls for his distinct tastes, pleasures and perversion. Back of my head, says to me, "Oh you confused me for Adam Ant," but that's me. Our boy wonder attempts to fend them off with a few polite comments and gracefully decline offers of far too young naked flesh thus confusing said cabbies. After claiming the prize of refreshing water, he is once again offered a varied pitch of making their way around the zoo and afterwords getting some tail so you can't win either way on being considerate to others' feelings all the time. That in mind, do not flog the scumbag with a tire iron even if you could fully justify it. No Thai Lovehouse for Henry. Awww...

Yes Sky God?

His audition for Death for Smoochy could not come at a more awkward time. His agent insists he takes Danny Devito seriously and this could make or break his acting career. He is cutting an album with his band and being gone away from that would seriously compromise his album release. Should he turn it down or should he be loud, proud and insane? With a bold move of overacting he could set a bar so high and I am in favor of Henry Smash!!!

How to end hatred to the likes Ku Klux Klan? You need 3,000 men that embodies three ideals or concepts too vast for the Klan. Gay men, Jewish and blacks...you have created the Klan Chaos Disruption Team! Maybe showing up in a myriad of colored robes and hoods playing Jazz or some Blues as they march.

For 96 minutes of bounding around the stage, venting his spleen and speaking of whacking one's wang in the toilet, you can see the hamster in his wheel going bonkers. Will it bring you mirth? Is it insightful? Can you stand my ridiculous questions?

I did enjoy his seething hatred of Djs. 

Is it so difficult to understand??!!!