Tuesday, June 7, 2016


How do madams and sirs and welcome back to more Kevin Smith. The self-proclaimed tubby bitch and so on. Fun fact for you. Kevin has written at least two Marvel story arcs. Spider-Man and The Black Cat and Daredevil:Guardian Angel. Both have a great deal of tongue-in-cheek humor, some dark effects and several real life evils that occur. Both are impressive works but be warned there is some adult scenarios there to contend with. Well this time around we have some geek fan boys embracing comics, movies and their mutual love lives that have gone belly up. This is Mallrats.

You can be my wingman always.

Prior to Clerks, this day occurred as T.S. Quint (Jeremy London of I'll Fly Away, Party of Five, Journey to the Center of the Earth TV movie, Gods and Generals, 7th Heaven, Kiss Me Again, Basilisk: The Serpent King and The Grift) is taking his girl Brandi (Claire Forlani of Mallrats, The Rock, Meet Joe Black, Mystery Men, Boys and Girls, Antitrust, Triggermen, The Medallion and Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius) out to Florida and away from Jersey so they can have time to themselves...but she cannot go because she volunteered to fill in for her father's dating game after the original contestant dropped dead in a pool from an embolism. Naturally they fight over this and end up breaking up.

No sooner is T.S. Quits with Brandi his best friend Brodie Bruce (Jason Lee of Almost Famous, Mumford, Vanilla Sky, The Incredibles, My Name Is Earl, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Cop Out and Shredd) with his many distractions of video games, comic books and fear of change leaving his girlfriend Rene (Shannen Doherty of Heathers, Beverly Hills, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Another Day, The Battle of Mary Kay, North Shore, Kiss Me Deadly and Burning Palms) at her wit's end. She sneaks in the middle of the night for a bone fest and that feels like that the better portion of their relationship. Neither of our protagonists know were they went wrong and find mutual healing from the only place of enlightenment...the mall. They find themselves at the mall only to learn this is the very spot in which Brandi's father, Jared (Michael Rooker of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Above the Law, The Dark Half, Cliffhanger, Mallrats, The 6th Day, Archer, Lollipop Chainsaw, The Walking Dead, and Guardians of the Galaxy) is hosting his Truth or Date show.

For the last time, I am not Superman!

T.S.wants revenge but knows he cannot do the deed himself and Brodie points out the potential lackeys of destruction Jay (Jason Mewes of Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Scream 3, Vulgar, Clerks: The Animated Series, Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back and Clerks II) and Silent Bob (writer/director/actor Kevin Smith Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Scream 3, Vulgar, Clerks: The Animated Series, Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back, Clerks II, Catch and Release, Manchild and Live Free or Die Hard) to search and destroy (Cue Metallica!). Misadventures continue as the dynamic doofuses run into T.S.' ex Gwen (Joey Lauren Adams of Dazed and confused, Sleep with Me, S.F.W., Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Big Daddy, Bruno, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Clerks: The Lost Scene) and they have some heart to heart.

Will T.S.get Brandi? Will Brodie win Rene's heart again? Will Jay and Silent Bob consummate their unspoken love?

Trivia time! Originally Stan Lee of Marvel Comics was not going to have a cameo but through a mutual connection Stan was asked to appear and he agreed. The episodic collection of comic book boxes was Kevin Smith's collection, much of which he purchased thanks to Clerks. Shawnee Smith of Becker and Saw fame came in for an audition but apparently she thought very little of the script and mocked the whole process. Later casting director Don Phillips apologized for her behavior.

The funniest trivia is while this takes place in Eden Prairie Center Mall in Eden Prairie Minnesota, down the road Fargo written and directed by the Coen brothers, Ethan and Joel was being shot at the same time. Yeah must have been hell to drive around those weeks.

Man the cast of 90210 went downhill.