Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Sequels: Howling III: Marsupials

Howdydoodlydoo!!!! So that was some fun-filled sequels we have been through, huh? Oh wait, no they weren't. Still they could have been worse. Many have complained about Howling II: Sister is a Werewolf given its plot holes, inconsistencies and Sybil Danning's copious topless and nude scenes. But c'mon...Reb Brown was 1970's Captain America and Sir Christopher Lee was Dracula back-to-back smoking werewolves that...looked really cheesy and nothing of Rick Baker's amazing SFX. This is Howling III a.k.a. Marsupials: The Howling III.

Dress me in a coat will ya??!!

Back with director Phillippe Mora (The Beast Within, A Breed Apart, Communion, Art Deco Detective, Richard III, Mercenary II: Thick & Thin and Strange Matters) and ONCE AGAIN sadly I start recognizing people because I have seen some serious piles of monkey squirt. Well let's dive right into this tour de force. Deep within the Australian Outback, werewolves have evolved divergent from any other lupine and morphed into marsupials...yup I didn't just mess with you all, female werewolves developing pouches for holding the young. 

Anthropologist Harry Beckmeyer (Barry Otto of Benny Hill Down Under, Case for the Defence, Tickled Pink, Norman Loves Rose, Undercover,The Punisher and The Paper Man) managed to score grainy footage filmed in "1905" of Aborigines burning and stabbing a wolf creature and shows his classroom. Kinda surreal except it is clearly shot with a higher def VHS used for broadcasting at the time.

No sooner is the class dismissed plot convenience number two appears in the form of a series of reports of werewolf attacks in Russia giving Beckmeyer the belief of a widespread of Commie Lycanthropes hell bent on taking over the world and attempts to get hold of the President. Yeah that goes over well as he explains to the President about werewolves and points out that strange things exist all over the world. The President vows to send Beckmeyer back to Sydney, Australia but he needs to keep the commander-in-chief clued in on the werewolf phenomenon.

I'm far too excited!!!

A doofy American name of Donny (Lee Biolos of Les Patterson Saves the World, The Year My Voice Broke, Dark City and Candy Regentag) is on location to scout filming regions and local talent for a Werewolf film Shapeshifters Part 8 bumps into a striking girl Jerboa (Playing Beatie Bow, Vietnam, Future Past, Crossbow, Strapless, Candy Regentag, Flair and Queen of the Damned) bumps into Donny and he tells her she would be perfect to play a werewolf (wink wink) so they are off to the director to get her spotlight a goin'.

Plans to move on the impeding werewolf infestation is allowing paramilitary and military divisions to join up with financial aid from the Vatican blessing silver for rounds and start mounting preemptive strikes after the few they have captured and interrogated to get the location they live in.

Will Beckmeyer allow the werewolves to be destroyed?? Will the military succeed??

Okay the effects are really less than. Gore effects were fair but the werewolf appliances are pretty hokey and even the giant werewolf head looked like a giant boar or pig. Turns out the head prop was from the 1984 flick Razorback so yup fuzzy pig. Using a polarizing filter, all the background colors looked amazing in spite of this film was a bit on the silly. Basing the werewolves of Australia is on the extinct Tasmanian Wolf as it was lupine and marsupial. Other than that, I was a tad bored.  The only of the Howling series that fell under PG-13.

These fellows stabbed a cosplayer. Savages.