Monday, March 9, 2015

Bruno Mattei Week: Rats: NIght of Terror

Greetings one and all to Day 1 of Bruno Mattei Week. This would normally be the part where you would be subjected to an insanely gross zombie film of far too many titles but is commonly known as Hell of the Living Dead but I have long since reviewed that film and have no desire to go back to it. Much like Godfather Part III, once is enough in my book.  Instead we hearken to the Post Apocalypse universe of such popularity since Mad Max. The re-emergence of this sub-genre has life breathed into every 5 to 10 years or so. Some are thought provoking, dark and abysmal existences and some are Waterworld. I kid Waterworld. Not such a bad flick if viewed a tad bit more objectively.

Nevertheless, I speak of a movie established 100 years after the nuclear fallout with inhabitants of this scorched Earth rise out of underground shelters in search of power, food and other such needs. This is Rats: Night of Terror.

Have fun cleaning up our poops!!

Brought us by the letter A for Atomic Fallout our band of underground dwellers in secure sanctuaries ascend to the surface to see what is become of the planet. Set in a desert town, our band of dirt covered, scruffy survivors are out and about travelling in trucks and bikes that somehow work well, the radiation didn't screw up the gasoline or perhaps they run on hopes, dreams and unicorn farts. Not sure what the deal is with that.

Puttering around this battered town that is rad free and the buildings are simply abandoned, our team is lead by a bearded goof name of Kurt (Ottaviano Dell 'Acqua of Crime Busters, Uppercut, Zombi, Nightmare City, Days of Hell, Cop Game, Zombi 3, Strike Commando 2 and Double Team) and his collection of half educated warrior wastelanders including: the very striking and ridiculously named Chocolate (Geretta Geretta of Demons, Buy & Cell, Shocking Dark, Sweetiecakes, Bloody Christmas and The Becoming) and white afro wearing Video (Gianni Franco of The Phantom of the Opera, The Wax Mask, Crimes, Third Person and Colpi di fortuna).

Looks like a savvy bunch.

The rest of them... seriously you will not care. When they are not bickering at one another, they are discovering an elaborate hydroponics garden, filtered gallons of fresh uncontaminated water and a couple barracks full of packaged food. Which begs the question, who built this paradise and where are they now? Okay, we have to get to the goofy part as they raid the local tavern/watering hole and all these rats are just lumped together on the floor and around the bar top. A large gathering of rats seem to thwart our one dimensional gibbering mongoloids at every turn! With scenarios of them burrowing through stomachs and throats, the rats seem to be cutting our travelers off from the exits. What will they do next? Is there no end to their devious behavior? How can they be stopped?

A few comments about the movie now. Mattei is trying to get you to suspend loads of disbelief as the rats are overrunning the place like zombies when in actuality they are huddled together and some of them have dye in their fur to make them look black and menacing. Yup, white rat minstrel going on. Tsk tsk.

Most of the wild leaping scenes of the rats hurling themselves in the air like demented anime characters minus the speed lines you can clearly guess the arc and trajectory was possible by a stage hand lobbing the poor critters at the actors. The close-ups on one of the actors engulfed in rats you can easily see they are fake, plastic and glued onto his costume. Their main tech guy Video is convinced every piece of hardware simply needs a kick in the balls. No really. That is actual dialogue. Truly a film worth poking fun at, assuming you are not just laughing at the poorly dubbed dialogue and lack of inflection in the voices.

Kate Moss before Photoshop.