Hiya kiddies and welcome back to Bruno
Mattei Week. Well thought we would steer away from anymore over the
top Vietnam films because well there is only so much stock footage
explosions my brain is comfortable taking when it points out again
and again we have already seen this. This time around our film hails
more of the Science Fiction route in the most amusing of rip-offs,
Mattei is tackling James Cameron but somehow his production team
stolen the title to the wrong Cameron project and has plenty of
alternative titles since then to really confuse the obscure overseas
collectors. Nice move there Flora Film. This is Shocking Dark.
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| Tight formation, people! With no long range weapons. |
Going by the working title, our film is
also know as: Bruno Mattei's Terminator II, Aliens 2, Aliens II and
Terminator 2. Real creative I know but you have to admire the
freedom overseas laws offer you with a psuedonym. What's that? No,
no Bruno Mattei didn't swipe your movie, it was that Vincent Dawn
fellow. The movie takes place in the far away future in
post-apocalyptic Venice that seems to finally be sinking into the
rivers... which I am not certain how they could be filming in Venice
when the entire town is on the sea and I saw more boiler rooms than I
did in Space Mutiny with Reb Brown screaming,"MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!"
every 5 mins or so. You know it is after a major holocaust because
of the foggy shots off the bay and a sign with hazard tape and
electric tape warning us that Venice is off limits. Meanwhile all
the structures of the city look completely intact but out of focus.
Dammit Mattei spring for some scale models, low cam panning over it
and then cut to some regions that could double for ruins.
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| Ahhh!!! My crotch is on fire!!! |
So soldiers of the sad name Tubular
Corporation are known as Megaforce and are roaming around this
massive steam tunnel/boiler system that looks leftover from every 80s
big hair band video as it provides sparks and plenty of steam. Funny
how I didn't see Barry Bostwick or Persis Khambatta in it... because
they were in the movie Megaforce. Crap, I should have just made a
Power Rangers joke instead of dating myself YET again. As they
explore the ruins of Venice armed with the high tech weapons of
Remington 12 gauge shotguns and Uzi 9mms. GUNS OF THE FUTURE!!!
They are assigned to tackle guys in
rubber monster suits and smoke them like a pack of Kools. Apparently
they are mutations from a genetic experiment that went horribly awry.
Not that you really can see that action on account of all the damn
steam. I have been in saunas with less steam. I am convinced there
are Turkish bathhouses with less steam. Still it is nice to see
actress Geretta Geretta of Rats: Night of Terror with a
less offensive name than Chocolate. I am not certain if she is
supposed to be Sgt. Apone or Pvt.Vasquez but she looks mildly
tough... aside from her BMX padded felt vests and cycling protective
gear servicing her and team as armor. A couple cans of spray paint
and some model paint to create dents and scrapes, people and boom!
Armor!
Will the Megaforce accomplish their
objectives?? Can they withstand the onslaught of creatures?? Should
they dust off, nuke the site from orbit and have a few brewskis?
Just a few comments on the flick now.
Most of the dialogue, shots and overall story-line are completely
abducted from Aliens. Word for word in some scenes. Our "Newt"
Samantha as an accent that sounds Solvic one minute and then South
African the next so no clue. The monster suits look like something
out of Humanoids From the Deep and are even slimy so kudos there.
Of course true to Mattei's style the
musical score sounds pinched from a few Miami Vice episodes and even
some of composer Vangelis's Blade Runner soundtrack. So if you need
something to laugh and mock at, grab this flick. For quality
entertainment with the same identical plot, go grab Aliens.
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| My God... the ruins of Venice... The horror... |
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