Friday, March 13, 2015

Bruno Mattei Week: Shocking Dark a.k.a. Terminator II

Hiya kiddies and welcome back to Bruno Mattei Week. Well thought we would steer away from anymore over the top Vietnam films because well there is only so much stock footage explosions my brain is comfortable taking when it points out again and again we have already seen this. This time around our film hails more of the Science Fiction route in the most amusing of rip-offs, Mattei is tackling James Cameron but somehow his production team stolen the title to the wrong Cameron project and has plenty of alternative titles since then to really confuse the obscure overseas collectors. Nice move there Flora Film. This is Shocking Dark.

Tight formation, people!  With no long range weapons.

Going by the working title, our film is also know as: Bruno Mattei's Terminator II, Aliens 2, Aliens II and Terminator 2. Real creative I know but you have to admire the freedom overseas laws offer you with a psuedonym. What's that? No, no Bruno Mattei didn't swipe your movie, it was that Vincent Dawn fellow. The movie takes place in the far away future in post-apocalyptic Venice that seems to finally be sinking into the rivers... which I am not certain how they could be filming in Venice when the entire town is on the sea and I saw more boiler rooms than I did in Space Mutiny with Reb Brown screaming,"MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!" every 5 mins or so. You know it is after a major holocaust because of the foggy shots off the bay and a sign with hazard tape and electric tape warning us that Venice is off limits. Meanwhile all the structures of the city look completely intact but out of focus. Dammit Mattei spring for some scale models, low cam panning over it and then cut to some regions that could double for ruins.

Ahhh!!! My crotch is on fire!!!

So soldiers of the sad name Tubular Corporation are known as Megaforce and are roaming around this massive steam tunnel/boiler system that looks leftover from every 80s big hair band video as it provides sparks and plenty of steam. Funny how I didn't see Barry Bostwick or Persis Khambatta in it... because they were in the movie Megaforce. Crap, I should have just made a Power Rangers joke instead of dating myself YET again. As they explore the ruins of Venice armed with the high tech weapons of Remington 12 gauge shotguns and Uzi 9mms. GUNS OF THE FUTURE!!!

They are assigned to tackle guys in rubber monster suits and smoke them like a pack of Kools. Apparently they are mutations from a genetic experiment that went horribly awry. Not that you really can see that action on account of all the damn steam. I have been in saunas with less steam. I am convinced there are Turkish bathhouses with less steam. Still it is nice to see actress Geretta Geretta of Rats: Night of Terror with a less offensive name than Chocolate. I am not certain if she is supposed to be Sgt. Apone or Pvt.Vasquez but she looks mildly tough... aside from her BMX padded felt vests and cycling protective gear servicing her and team as armor. A couple cans of spray paint and some model paint to create dents and scrapes, people and boom! Armor!

Will the Megaforce accomplish their objectives?? Can they withstand the onslaught of creatures?? Should they dust off, nuke the site from orbit and have a few brewskis?

Just a few comments on the flick now. Most of the dialogue, shots and overall story-line are completely abducted from Aliens. Word for word in some scenes. Our "Newt" Samantha as an accent that sounds Solvic one minute and then South African the next so no clue. The monster suits look like something out of Humanoids From the Deep and are even slimy so kudos there.

Of course true to Mattei's style the musical score sounds pinched from a few Miami Vice episodes and even some of composer Vangelis's Blade Runner soundtrack. So if you need something to laugh and mock at, grab this flick. For quality entertainment with the same identical plot, go grab Aliens.

My God... the ruins of Venice... The horror...