Shaft's Big Score

Hey folks I have returned. Yeah it has been awhile since these reviews were back to back but I am just managing time better. Wibbly Wobbly aside, today I wanted to delve back into Blaxploitation and clear up a misnomer. One being today's film is the direct sequel to the private dick that's a sex machine and NOT Shaft in Africa. Yeah I know I have heard otherwise. Look at your chronology sucka or Hell just get on IMDB that surprisingly has this one under wraps. So yes we are getting a dose of Richard Roundtree being a bad mother once again. This is Shaft's Big Score.

He's undercover.

Not to be confused with Score's Big Shaft. Yeah not proud of writing porn but it pays the bills. Is he kidding? Figure it out yourselves. Nutty idea you could always ask when you put in film requests. 

 Shaft (Richard Roundtree of Portrait of a Hitman, Game for Vultures, City Heat, Maniac Cop, Night Visitor, Crack House, Roc, Se7en, Rescue 77, Shaft and Soul Food) is back in the streets, doing his thang when he gets wind of a racketing gig out of a friend Cal (Robert Kya-Hill of Shaft's Big Score, Death Wish, Lou Grant, Good times, Ryan's Hope and Sue) business being a funeral parlor. Trying to reach our protagonist on the horn (My guess he's all tuckered out from whatever girls he was with that night) and tell Shaft his plight. It's definitely more than a boggle.

Worried about his sister Arna (Rosalind Miles of Shaft's Big Score, The Black Six, Girls for Rent, The Manhandlers, Attack on Terror: The FBI vs.the Ku Klux Klan and Friday Foster) he asks Shaft to keep her safe and meet him at his office. With a serious bomb explosion, the Captain of the precinct, Brolin(Julius Harris of Live and Let Die, The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, King Kong, Split Decisions, Darkman, Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence and The Gifted) is grilling Shaft while his buddy Cal has been char broiled. Not cool, brah.

This is for getting more booty than us!

Once again directed by the late great Gordon Parks (Flavio, The World of Piri Thomas, The Learning Tree, Shaft, The Super Cops, Leadbelly and Moments Without Proper Names) so we are in good hands. A quick moment to talk about this amazing man, Parks was a photographer and reporter for Life Magazine in 1948-1949, is godfather to Quibilah Shabazz, daughter of Malcolm X , co-founder of Essence Magazine and alongside Melvin Van Peebles (Sweet Sweetback's Baadassssss Song, Don't Play Us Cheap, Gang in Blue, Tales of Erotica and Bellyful) are the founding fathers of Blaxploitation. Yeah babies, that is heavy.

Back to the movie under the MGM title, we are making away through Harlem, Laguardia and New York Manhattan proper as this mystery is just getting started. Hey am I wrong wanting Fred Williamson and Richard Roundtree to either team-up or have to duke it out? Shaft is trying to work out what brought this down on his buddy and solve his murder but more than a few bumps are in the road. Including mob boss Bumpy (Moses Gunn of Wild Rovers, Shaft’s Big Score!, The Cowboys, Rollerball, Good Times and Vega$) rears his head out of the sand as it would appear $200,000 is unaccounted for and Bumpy wants a payday. The funeral proceeds on schedule, Shaft and Arna get back to the house finding it tossed looking for the missing dough.

Those pigs call me booty?

To make matters worse, a rival crime boss, Gus Mascola (Joseph Mascolo of Hot Spur, Shaft's Big Score, Jaws 2, Bronk, Gangster Wars, Sharky's Machine, The Gangster Chronicles. Santa Barbara, General Hospital, The Bold and the Beautiful and Days of Our Lives) was in bed with Asby's partner Johnny Kelly (Wally Taylor of Roots, When a Stranger Calls, Palmertown, U.S.A., Circle of Power, Rocky III, Seduced and Night of the Creeps) tells da boss the 200 gees is in the wind. With the property being in Harlem this can only lead to a gang war.

Even after the death of his partner, Kelly is running numbers on sports gambling and it's business as usual. His runners are out and about. So classy is our boy Kelly slaps his girl Rita (Kathy Imrie of Shaft's Big Score, Let's Go for Broke, Night Heat, Street Legal, Street Law, Shadow Creature, Soul Food and Doc) for speaking while he's scheming and sweating out dealing with the Italians.

No sooner he has a sit down with Mascola, Kelly is already thinking of bringing the action to Bumpy. Maybe the hope is the rub each other (Not that erotic way, ya pervs) and then the landscape is clear for Kelly to cruise on through. Yeah fellas there is plenty of T & A to go with this action packed film. Oh ladies, they were gonna ask. It was inevitable.

Can Shaft get out of this one? Will Bumpy get his just due? Will Kelly be hanging from a lamp post?

With a budget of 1.9 million, the mechanics of the cinematography have vastly improved, getting the same screenplay writer Ernest Tidyman back and the sheer larger scale of this flick felt like a Bond movie. Hell even the original posters gave that vibe. We got helicopter chases, car chases, gunfights and even a good boat chase.  Issac Hayes does not come back for his iconic Shaft theme as apparently he and Gordon had a falling out.

Finally saw a High Standard Model 10 bullpup 12 gauge. Something I haven't seen since Jame Caan's Thief and Miami Vice. 12 gauge, five round capacity and it's semi-automatic. Awesome cannon.

So yes this is a good solid sequel. Not truly a stand alone film as it does rely heavily on the predecessor but still a good follow-up, decent lines and Shaft being a total bad ass.

Bad mutha with a boomstick!

Sniper

Hey gang. Taking a slight break from indie horror for a bit. At least a post worth. Today I thought we could do with suspense thriller/action with Tom Berenger and Billy Zane shot in Australia because Panama might possibly been pissed about that. This is Sniper.

Camera man's stalking us, kid.

Master Gunnery Sergeant Tom Beckett (Tom Berenger of The Big Chill, Platoon, Major League, Shoot to Kill, The Field,The Substitute, Shadow of Doubt and Training Day) Marine recon sniper. With 74 confirmed kills, he is one of their best. He and his spotter Cpl. Papich (Aden Young of Exile, Metal Skin, River Street, Paradise Road, War Bride, The Bet and The Code) are on mission to assassinate a rebel leader of Panama and restore free elections. Their extraction was set for night and it happens at daylight. Papich is taken out by a rival sniper and Beckett drags his body to the chopper.

NSC (National Security Council) drums up an inexperienced civilian that's a sharpshooter in the Olympics and a SWAT team with zero combat experience, Miller (Billy Zane of Critters,Blood and Concrete, Millions, Tombstone, Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight, The Phantom, Head Above Water, Titanic, BloodRayne and Samantha Who?) that they feel will work in concert with Beckett, follow the mission and take out the offending rebels As always, it gets complicated by giving Miller rank and lead on this mission. When he doesn't speak the language, has had no time in the jungle and doesn't know the region at all.

With the additional bonus round, Beckett knows the sniper that took out Papich because he trained him. The guy is now a merc and works at the highest bidder. His work speaks for itself. As a huge hampering on the mission, Beckett tells Miller they got to take this sniper out before he does them.

Didn't like The Phantom, huh? Really?

Carrying the motto of "One Shot, One Kill", showing some of the recon movements including the belly crawl that the Marines adapted from the Apaches, along with stealth equals better survival every time. Miller out of his element questions everything Beckett is trying to teach him because he thinks Beckett has lost his crap ages ago. He's been out in the jungle too long and so on.

Penned by writers Michael Frost Beckner (Sniper, Cutthroat Island, Spy Game, The Agency, CSI: Crime Scene Investigations, Gold Fever and To Appomattox) and Crash Leyland (Sniper, The Final Cut, Sniper 2 and Sniper 3) these fellas ratchet up the tension and make the audience feel moment to moment. There is hardly any downtime from scene to scene. These men can die at any time.

Dammit, now I have to pee.

And finally more icing on this crap cake, a former CIA agent nicknamed The Surgeon or El Cirujano (Ken Radley of Big Sky, Home and Away, Dear Claudia, Something in the Air, Like Mother Like Son: The Strange Story of Sante and Kenny Kimes, Stingers and Dying Breed) who is now an enforcer for the drug cartel providing the rebels with money is pissed his traffic flow is being messed with and now hunts through the jungles to find them both. It's a waiting game to see who tips their first hand.

Can Beckett and Miller work together?? Will they get themselves killed or end up killing each other??

Beckett is such a strong character to behold. Marine since Vietnam has been in and out of the hot spots his entire career. Loved that Hollywood figured out a role for Berenger that was hard nosed, tough and made a lot of leading men look soft by comparison. Zane's Miller is the everyman in this. No experience, lot of talent and the sheer terror he feels is what the audience has churning through their guts as well

With this the simplistic story, the complexity of the characters is what really moves the movie along. This lone film can stand alone but has spawned an entire series beyond what anyone probably expected it to. Without this as the foundation, those sequels would have never happened nor would they have the same weight as the original. Yes I do enjoy the second and third movie and looking into continuing you all down this rabbit hole and see if you dig them as much as I do.

The tones change, and the action gets torqued higher but ultimately one shot equals one kill.

Miller, hardly anyone liked The Phantom.

Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood

Welcome to the new week. Well it took some doing and perusing but I finally found a copy of a sequel several fans were asking me to find. For those that don't want to read YET ANOTHER horror sequel, well make some suggestions please. For everybody else, the wait is finally over. Yes the demand for more Stephanie Beaton is on and we will see how this goes. We are to embark on another Witchcraft film. This is Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood.

Satan demands you motorboat me.

As many of you will recall, Lucy Lutz (Stephanie Beaton of Wicthcraft IX: Bitter Flesh, Zombie Gang Bangers, Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft, Monster in My Car, Eyes of the Werewolf, Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood and A Passion) was in London and asked by Bureau 17 to join up along with Agent Celeste after the big vampire and Satanists showdown and...well I don't think that plot line is going to connect here.   But hey! Garner's back! Lutz's partner Garner (Mikul Robins of Teen Wolf, Frogtown II, Witchcraft IX: Bitter Flesh, Sexual Chemistry, Dark Secrets, My Haunted House and Opus of an Angel) are going to be busy busy as Will Spanner, Warlock and Lawyer Extraordinaire has returned!

Dayum, girl you lost...well any sex appeal.

 

Going on his fifth regeneration (yes that was a timelord reference) Will (James Servais of Scanner Cop, To the Ends of Time, Erotic Confessions, Madam Savant, V-World Matrix, Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood and Dog Story) is still with Kelly (Wendy Blair of The West Wing and Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood) and for some continuity issue, um they are still engaged. Yeah this engagement has been going on forsix years. Dude commit already.   Director/writer Ron Ford (The Mark of Dracula, Alien Agenda: Endangered Species. Riddled with Bullets, Deadly Tales, A Passion to Kill and Deadly Scavengers) brings us back to the roots of Witchcraft, meaning there are actually witches again and yes they will try to seduce Will to the dark side and...maybe we need something new. Our movie revolves around Kelly's sister (yup didn't know she had one either) and her college shenanigans. Probably mostly beer bongs, bisexuality and learning magic, because every college girl has the Willow from Buffy experience...if it is written by a horny, basement dwelling perv and not Joss Whedon.

So Kelly's sister Colleen (Miranda Odell of Sweet Evil 2: Sapphire and Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood) is absorbed in the Scottish play Macbeth. Her director looks like the master from Manos: The Hands of Fate and her co-stars Maria (Lauren Ian Richards of Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood) and Keri (Kathleen St. Lawrence of Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood) want to do spells in a graveyard with a grimoire. This is somehow good for the play. WHAT?!!! How is dabbling in the black arts and I assume blood magic going by the title going to prepare you for a role in Shakespeare?! So if this was Hamlet, would they have committed incest and killed their fathers to be with their mothers???!!! Is it bad to point out that the play is happening in a Catholic college?

Well at least it ain't vampires this time, Lutz.

So our dabblers are only going to raise three witch sisters from THE DEAD!!! Yup totally reasonable and clearly something that looks good on a college transcript. Says here you're a people person, you can do Spreadsheet and you raise the dead. You're hired!... somewhere else.

So if they conjure up these dead broads they can open a gateway to Hell. Again, Catholic girls are a bit scary. A further addendum, Colleen points out how she and Kelly had fire and brimstone sermons drummed in their heads for years and this is why Kelly rebelled, fell in love with a man foretold to lead all evil on the planet and is a master warlock and...wait a minute. Is this getting goofy? 

 Naturally our night foray into the dark arts requires the girls to be topless. Must be a key ingredient for black magic or possibly banking on T &A selling this flick. Naaaah, I'm clearly just jealous I don't write this well.  Maria is taken over by one of the sisters and gacks a moron teenage horndog so no loss there.

My polo shirt protects me from your sorcerous ways!

 Once again Satan gets typecast as the corrupter of youth and the spoilers of virgins. Oh and they are supposed to open a hell gate for Abaddon. Um isn't that the Angel of Death? I admit my CDC is a bit rusty but according to Hebrew texts, Abaddon is the Angel of the Abyss. Of course New Testament also establish Abaddon as another name for Jesus after the resurrection so I am all sorts of confused on this dogma.

Enough about boobs! Where's Lutz and Garner? Surely evil is afoot! Two of the college horndogs tell Lutz and Garner that they were ogling the topless trio and then Jay got killed. So our dynamic duo go to work. Also Garner is a sexist pig now.  Um character development I guess?  Seriously, Lutz looks like she is inches away from smoking this little piggy.  They happen to bump into Will and Kelly as they passed through the very same graveyard that is technically a CRIME SCENE and not taped off. Well I don't blame Lutz and Garner, probably lazy ass unis not doing their job.

Will states he doesn't sense any dark powers and he seems to be okay with magic again. Just need some consistency dude. And then he whips around to Kelly after our cops leave and tells her there are dark forces at play. Bro, that particular twosome are gonna be pissed you just lied to them. The hell brah? Will wants to get to Colleen before the coven has taken her over, released the demon Abaddon and open a hell gate. But don't worry, male readers. There's boobs. Yes that oh so important deciding factor YOU ALWAYS ask me about. Lady readers, well you know I didn't write, direct or film any of this. I can only apologize for boobs so many times.

Okay the creature effects, the wraith like witches is actually good. The energy beams from eyes however, yeah not so good. Glad to see Lutz and Garner back but still not a lot for them to do. Current Will is lacking in real charisma, the fights are kind of impressive and once again a coven or sect of warlocks is trying to turn him to the dark side. IT DOESN'T WORK!!! Will's left a trail of bodies of those that have tried and failed ultimately so stop trying to entice him. Between offers of booty, power and enough witchy orgy badness he can digest, Will has been loyal to Kelly through and through. Face it!   He's not going to lead your armies of darkness and shroud the world in endless night or whatever the script wants this time.

Stephanie's Lutz is a hard nosed bad ass cop again, guns blazing and getting into danger. I wonder how many shots fired forms they fill out each movie.  Garner is taking her lead and he is still questioning if magic is real??? DUDE!   You have fought satanists, vampires and now witnessing a demon coming up from out of the ground.   Even Scully is saying, "Duh dumbass."

So overall the acting is fair, the witches three are well topless for a lot of it. Sex scenes fly by quickly and the sound quality was a vast improvement over ten. Will is constantly being tempted to his darker nature. Shouldn't one of these sect leaders just invite him for tea and open a dialogue instead of throwing magic floozies at him all the time? Not the greatest follow-up but I was glad that Garner and Will managed to make it back in and no vampires this time.

Oh you didn't just say that to Garner, Will!

Girls Guns and Blood

Hey kiddies! I have returned. So after a few fistfuls of horror, I was informed I have been dipping into the genre a bit too often. Now mind you, I really don't mind Horror as a whole but a few select fans have pointed out it feels a tad bit like the Epinions.com days and they were hoping I had something else. Well thanks to a bit of write ups for Dustin Ferguson and I suspect a clever girl who starts in today's movie is why I was asked by the co-writer/co-director/executive producer Robert Rowland (Fallen Angels, Ice Scream: The ReMix, Dead Man's Fuel and The Cottages) if I wanted to take a look at an action comedy shot in grind house fashion. A tale of woe with brothel getting robbed by a ruthless gang of thieves. Apparently these ladies decide a little payback is in order. This is Girls, Guns and Blood.

This kitty came to play.

Brought to us by production companies, Gaucho Productions, Porr Hund Entertainment and Rowling Bones Productions these fine collective of gals are not all they appear to be. No don't jump to vampires and werewolves just yet. Simmer down. Penned along with Rowland, writer Jeff O' Brien (Blind Heat, Alien Incursion, Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet, Bone Dry, Prey for the Beast and Attack of the Giant Leeches) the two team-up to ramp enthusiasm, libidos and action fans to a grade A all-out crazy. We open with a chain of events in reverse, catching up to the actions that lead to these soon-to-be met consequences. A piano concerto as we witness an aftermath of bondage, breakage and beatings. I didn't say it was a Disney film, gang but hang in there. Five men hightail it with goodies in a bag and get to their truck as a curvy redhead Monique (Rebecca Love of The Departed, Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet, Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, Bikini Pirates, Bewitched Housewives and Cleavagefield)comes out in a black teddy and a six shooter, looking to put some hurt on these not-so good ole boys. For those guessing, she's pissed off.

Flashback to yesterday, DBIC(dirt bag in charge) Jamie (James W. Evermore of Dixieland, Salem, Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser, Hap and Leonard, Free State of Jones, NCIS: New Orleans, The Cottages and Happy Death Day 2U) enlists the aid of his merry men as they are off to do some crimes. Yeah a joyous bunch to be sure. Our busy brothel has had activities cut short as they are having a little pow wow, um...hoe down? Community meeting? Yeah that will do.

Yes boys, hers is bigger than yours.

And before I go any further, yes male readers there's titty in it. For my female readers, I would like to apologize but you honestly cannot fathom how many times I am asked about that in any Sci-fi Fantasy, Action or Horror film I review. So yeah there are in fact gobsmack amounts of titty. How much is a gobsmack? What am I? Google? Work it out.

Popping out of the pool water in slow-mo status is Vixen (Adult actress Cherie DeVille of Mandingo's MILFs 2, Sex and Submission, The Grinch XXX Parody, The Coven Wives, Prime MILF 5, Lesbian Lessons Vol. 2 and Lesbian Anatomy) and frankly I thought Siren would have been a better name. Going medieval, nautical and Greek tragedy like.  Fine, I thought it was clever. Vixen is attached to a muscle bound nerdy guy in glasses. Yeah that imagery baffles me as well. Kaiser (Stuntman/martial artist Woody Almazan of Girls Guns and Blood) has had a money SNAFU and Vixen informs Kaiser he's on bread and water until that money has been recovered.   A balaclava and dark clothed wearing gentleman has to correct this over-site or he will be wearing parts of his lower anatomy as earrings.

Now with the meeting underway with the ladies, Kitty (Christine Nguyen of Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros, House Broken, Kaboom, Sexual Witchcraft, Tanya X, Hollywood Sex Wars, Baby Dolls Behind Bars, Vigilante Diaries, The Coed and the Zombie Stoner and After Midnight), Trix (Adult actress Britney Amber of Family Business, Couples Vacation, The Training of O, Prime MILF 5, Hot and Mean, Barb Wire XXX, The Next Morning, First Dates Volume 2 and Superbound), Beretta (Adult actress Kleio Valentien of Diary of a Nanny Vol. 8, Dirty Talk, Taking Control, Infernal Restraints, This Ain't Fallout XXX, Suicide Squad XXX: An Axel Braun Parody, Hogtied and Meet My Girlfriend) and Angel (Cody Renee Cameron of No Respect for the Dead, Gods of the Arena: The eSports Dramedy, The Neon Demon, Deadly Sins, Officer Downe, The Obsidian Curse, The Sex Trip, Golden State, The Cottages, Handy Dandy and Girls Guns and Blood).  They are to partake in a high rollers party. Yes that is serious coin and these boys are looking to spend and get their money's worth.

This thong is chafing. Ew.

Warned they are about to embark on some serious freaky requests, Monique tells the girls they are in charge and brothel strong arm Thumper (Chaz Taylor of Hairmetal Shotgun Zombie Massacre: The Movie, Anna Nicole & the Starlight Angel, The Suplex Duplex Comple, Indie Girl, Project Jyn and Lone Star Deception) in case anything goes completely pear shaped. With a couple of extra hands Loni (Holly Reidenbach of Girls Guns and Blood) Emily (Danielle Evon Ploeger of Littlefield, Last Girl Standing, The Prey, A Room Full of Nothing and Girls Guns and Blood) and Vice (Jamie Hooks of Girls Guns and Blood), it's all hands on deck for the party.

The craziness unfolds, the girls band together to get things done and revenge. So yes some good hand-to-hand fights, gunfights and some chases. Hell Trix is rocking a compound bow with a slow recurve, so that's at least 65 to 80 lb pull back. Kitty packing a retractable steel baton, twirling it like this wasn't her first rodeo. Could have been some seriously kinky clients I but I would be speculating at that and Berretta seems to prefer hand-to-hand. Having great handheld for close-ups, POV and action catching, the cinematography is vastly better than I was expecting.

With the vibe of Russ Meyer's Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, a dash of Rick Jacobson's Bitch Slap and a pinch of Andy Sidaris' Guns, the girls deliver the goods. It's there for you. Action, good comedy, bit of the ultra violence and yes, the aforementioned titty. Ladies, I swear you haven't an idea how often this is asked. On a weekly basis damn near. These bad girls will get their men or die trying. 

So it's available VOD on iTunes, Amazon and Google Play.  So if 75 minutes of girls kicking ass, looking good while they do it sounds like your kinda flick, give it a view.

No one dumps me on Messenger!

 

Meathook Massacre: The Final Chapter

Back again guys and dolls. Well I got another request review by writer/director/editor Dustin Ferguson (Gloved Murderess, Demon Dolls, Cheerleader Camp: To the Death, Invitation to Die, Nemesis 5: The New Model and Amityville: Evil Never Dies) , a regular with the blog as his legacy series with Bubba Fleisher and his appalling family of serial nutter butters. SoCal Cinema Studios and A Troma Team Release sent me a screener that may bring us a bloody conclusion. This is Meathook Massacre: The Final Chapter.

Hey kid, you got a 20 ton bottle jack?

The fifth installment in the series and our story continues with Danielle Stokely (Danielle Brookshire of The Eyes of Isabelle, Cheerleader Camp: To the Death, Shivers Down Your Spine, Meathook Massacre, Tales for the Campfire and The Dummy 2) as she was kidnapped so long ago by Bubba (Robert Lankford of Meathook Massacre, Family Covenant, Grindsploitation 2: The Lost Reels, Meathook Massacre II, Meathook Massacre 3: First Hunt, Wrong Side of the Tracks, Nemesis 5: The New Model, House of Pain andd Meathook Massacre 4) and his lunatic lineage. With her narrow escape, she is one of the few souls to not end up Bubba's victims. 15 years ago, she went into hiding, praying she never runs into these monsters again.

With a flashback dating to the original, Dani is seen fleeing from Bubba as he flays his meathook and tromps after her. Oh if only she and her friends never went to go see Dragonsclaw live. The scene is reminiscent of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre as Leatherface chases down Sally.

Having the obvious nightmares as she should, Dani is effectively Ripley of Aliens at this point, but more on genre Sydney of Scream 2. Still scarred and scared of that night but trying to come to grips with it all. Well you're in good hands with Samantha (the lovely Vida Ghaffari of Circus of Dread, The Catch, Rice Girl, Holy Terror, Scorpion Girl, Horndogs Beach Party, Nation's Fire, RoboWoman and Moon of the Blood Beast). FYI that crafty writer snuck in a House by the Cemetery reference. No chance of that sneaking by me, good sir. I am a Fulci nut.

Any time is always better with more Vida.

Dani also has a new man in her life, Todd (Ronnie Angel of Grindsploitation 666, Runaway Nightmare, Tales from the Grave, Dirty D: Jelly and The Verdict with Judge Hatchett) who doesn't want to impale her with a meathook, so that's good. Also a plus when the love of yout life doesn't try to run you through with butcher's tools. I would have probably passed out with laughter if his name was Chuck. They decide to meet up for lunch. Hope it's not “COLD CUTS”. Yes there may be more meat puns.

A couple of hikers are out and about. Dammit people! You know this is a slasher film, why would you do that typical dumb folk routine? You know it ends badly! I beg you folk, carry a gun or a good kabar, just to improve your odds. Hell a collapsible shovel. Naturally we have to split up, so Jeffery is taking a leak and leaving his lady, Jessica (Valerie Mulligan of Bikini Swamp Girl Massacre, Auteur, Steve's Garden, Troma Presents: Mulligan's Monsters, Drive-In Grindhouse, Moon of the Blood Beast and VHS Violence) to pitch the tent. Yeah I'll pitch it. Right into the damn stream, ya punk. Little did they know a familiar face is roaming about. Hey Jeffery, spare some ribs? Warned you about bad puns,

Weird, looks like Dani lives in the Horndogs Party Beach apartment. Off to meet Todd, for a picnic and some exposition. You see Todd, your girl has had a bit of crazy in her life and it was none too fun. Not that kinky dungeon I want to explore my sexuality crazy but the I barely escaped being shish-kabob crazy. Puts a damper on the bone zone, huh brah? With the flashback cued up, Dani bears her soul and that horrible event hoping she doesn't freak her fella away. You think Nancy from A Nightmare on Elm Street had these problems?

Meanwhile back at the apartment, Samantha dishes with Dani and passes a note from a guy in Nebraska, Tom (Clint Beaver of The Dummy 2, Tamarrud, Tales for the Campfire 2, Meathook Massacre II, Wrong Side of the Tracks, Nemesis 5: The New Model, Amityville: Evil Never Dies, A Taste of Phobia and House of Pain) saying they need to meet up and it's urgent. Dani's real nightmares are rows of corn, pork bellies as a conversation topic and everyone reminding her of the great deals she can get with Omaha Steaks! The horror!!

Candid picnics are always great for tales of terror.

Dani finally sucks it up and decides to call Tom. Tom claims to also be a survivor from this lunatic family and folks, he barely got out of Meathook Massacre II. Yeah I would know that as a viewer and reviewer but nevertheless, the twosome vow to meet up at Wolf Lake in twenty. A pleasant introduction so now it's time for Tom to get all crazy pants, claiming a government cover-up and how Bubba and the demented death farm gang were never captured or convicted by the cops like Dani was told. Armed with news paper clippings, far fetched theories and channeling his inner Tommy Jarvis via Halloween 666, Tom is convinced that not only did the family escape but they move from location to location at a time. Hey gang, guess what? Dustin understands continuity. Take that and cram it, Friday the 13^th!

With this newfound knowledge Dani still doesn't know what to do. Just she and Samantha run or does she get her revenge with chainsaw and boomstick? Oh and if you do go boomstick, get that double barrelled pump shotgun because that is a series upgrade from Ash's Remington.

Will Dani put up a fight? Can see gack Bubba and his whole crazy clan?

 

A few side notes. The mask keeps improving as these films go on. I realize the elasti-band probably works better to hold the mask in place. For a visual I was hoping it would be braided leather made from one of Bubba's victims. That's me just going for a bit more gross and disturbing.

It was great to have Velvet Acid Christ back for the theme music again.  Stepping back in the role of audio editing, foley artist and composer, this Jack of All Trades: Matt Festle (Nemesis 5: The New Model, Surviving the Wild, Dead Squad: Temple of the Undead, Drive-In Grindhouse, Meathook Massacre 4 and Robowoman) is in for a ton of editing audio so it looks like he has the ears for it. Love the pig squealing sound effect.  FX makeup guru Alexys Paonessa (Electric Dreams, Black Lightning, Lucifer, Meathook Massacre: The Final Chapter and Moon of the Blood Beast) is back and making things and dead folk look eerie as Hell so kudos on that.

Dustin's foray into this depravity and morbid tales looked promising from the first film and just managed to keep the same momentum going. Not many sequels get a chance to be on par with the original, let alone stand neck in neck with it. The expansion of making it a deranged family in the second film really opened the flood gates and allowed for more story and character development. With this franchise I won't be surprised if someone else wants to take the reins and build it up even further. Maybe a series of prequels or a continuation. There is a room of possibilities. While this may very well be the last time Dustin is at the helm, I am guessing this is not the last Meathook Massacre we see.

Jeffery! I told you no gluten!

Press Release: Kill Giggles

As per request of writer/director/producer Jaysen Buterin (The Devil's Tramping Ground, Monster X, Kill Giggles) asked if Rotten Reelz Reviews would be willing to do a press release for the upcoming Kill Giggles.  All too willing to help Indie Horror.


Contact: Jaysen Buterin
Email: jaysen@madonesfilms.com
Web: http://www.madonesfilms.com

KILLER CLOWN FILM “KILL GIGGLES” ON INDIEGOGO!

Greensboro, NC – Earlier this year Mad Ones Films ran a successful crowdfunding campaign for their clown-killing thriller/horror feature film Kill Giggles. With the investment phase now completed they have launched a promotional IndieGoGo campaign to raise additional funds that will allow them to make Kill Giggles even bigger, better and bloodier when they begin filming this June.
“With the StartEngine campaign, as well as additional private investment secured, we met the minimum requirement needed to shoot the film! That means the cameras AND the clown heads will roll in June,” said Jaysen Buterin, writer/director of Kill Giggles, for Mad Ones Films. “We’re going to take a timeless terror trope and turn it on its rainbow wig-covered head by sending in the clowns to die instead!” The ethos of Mad Ones Films has always been to give a good deal to their fans and backers with unique and one-of-a-kind promotional items and movie merchandise for reasonable prices. Their IndieGoGo campaign is making signed copies of the film and other exciting merchandise available to those fans, investors, supporters, collectors and horror aficionados alike who may want something special ahead of the film’s eventual worldwide release.



“Some campaigns can feel like asking for an audience to part with money on the off chance of receiving what can be not a lot in return. With Kill Giggles we made real investments available to the public for as little as $100. Now that we’re able to produce a complete and profitable film, we also launched on IndieGoGo where our cast and special guest stars Judith O’Dea, Vernon Wells and Felissa Rose are all signing things fans will want!” said Callum Dougherty, Producer for Cubic7 Productions.

The campaign includes some thematically appropriate perks such as an autographed (inflatable) Bozo the Clown doll that was snagged within an hour, Kill Giggles-branded clown noses, a custom clown-a-gram, walk-on roles, and “Photo Roulette” where a disposable camera left on set every day will document the making of movie magic. After the film is completed the camera will be mailed to the backer along with a clown nose and signed DVD.
The campaign can be found at: https://igg.me/at/killgiggles

For more information on Kill Giggles, please visit the online circus at www.killgiggles.com or follow the film on Facebook: www.facebook.com/KillGiggles.
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SYNOPSIS: Tommy dos Santos wasn’t born a psychopath, nor was he made into a sociopath; he’s walking his own path – a path that will run red with the blood of the foulest most fiendishly frightening creatures ever conceived by man! Clowns!

No longer do they have the starring role in our nightmares, it is now the clowns who are the prey, running for their lives from a killer who won’t stop until every single one of them is dead.

Moon of the Blood Beast

And we are back folks. I hope you all enjoyed Yoga Hosers. Maybe some of you went out and grabbed a copy. Who can say. So today I have a film review request from a familiar favorite of the blog, writer/director/editor Dustin Ferguson (Terror at Black Tree Forest, The Legacy of Boggy Creek, Escape to Black Tree Forest, Black Tree Forest III, Doll Killer, Die Sister, Die, Occult Holocaust, Gloved Murderess, Cheerleader Camp: To the Death, Shockumentary, Nemesis 5: The New Model and Robowoman) of SoCal Studios and produced by A Troma Team Release, courtesy of Lloyd Kaufman. The title I have been given to view smacks a little of 70s exploitation creature feature and by God I can do that. This is Moon of the Blood Beast.

That is not finger food. Bad demon! Bad!

You might recall my last review of Dustin's work, Grindsploitation 8: Grindhouse Drive-In, the various faux commercials and trailers, well I dare say our fellow has been busy with this flick and let's get into it, shall we? The vibe I am getting off this is Legend of Boggy Creek POV monster that has haunted the small town for generations.

We open with eerie music, muffled whispers or prayers and depictions of Baphomet, Lucifer and Satannish on cards, books and other such imagery. Yes I have read my fair share of religions and dealt with the Tarot Card New Age hippies. Hippies, man. They creep me out.

In the small coastal town of Riverside there is a legend. A legend of darkness when the moon is blood red, weird happenings occur. A pretty hitchhiker (Alana Evans of Horndogs Beach Party, Moon of the Blood Beast and Los Angeles Shark Attack) doesn't know of these legends as she makes her way across country and it's the little things you know that gives you a higher survival rate. Our hitchhiker is a budding photographer when something captures her instead.  Dammit!  I really wanted to see her hoist a shotgun, get some Bruce Campbell one liners in.  Well, maybe next time.

That's not how you tan. Bad Alana! Bad!

 Little disturbed the local Daily News got such a graphic picture for front page. Kids are reading this, dammit. Well alright no they aren't. Probably one with their smart phones. Deputy Sheriff Frank (D.T. Carney of Bigfoot's Wild Weekend, April Apocalypse, Trespass Into Terror, Generation Y and Garlic & Gunpowder) hangs a heavy head as he goes through the newspaper.

Thankfully he has sunny and lovely dispatcher Noel Johnson (Vida Ghaffari of Holy Terror, Scorpion Girl, Suspense, and Horndogs Beach Party, Nation's Fire, Robowoman and Suspense) for some advice, friendly attitude and a good cup of Joe. Well the crime scene was no boating accident! Because it was in the desert... nowhere near water... or a boat. Anyway, moving along.

After dealing with the crime scene, Frank runs into Gabe Smith who tells the Sheriff that the beast has returned. Sporting a S&W .45, Gabe (Mike Ferguson of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., American Violence, Training Day, A Crooked Somebody, Outlaw Origins, Brobot and ZombieCON) seems more of a proactive Crazy Ralph. This cat won't be wasting time speaking of death curses and how everyone is doomed. I think he's gonna let his lead do the talking. Good on you, fella.

You do not yell at Vida. Bad Sheriff! Bad!

A local jogger is doing right by his ticker. That is until his cardio gets kicked into overdrive with some drone and good hand held coming at him. Hmm, might want to claim mountain lion attacks, Sheriff. Of course that means Wildlife and Game will be tromping around there and become monster bait.

Three stoners are waking and baking already stoked to be camping from the crime scene. THE ONE that is ILLEGAL to be near! Damn potheads. Partaking of the spliff, stoner #1 (Ken May of Welcome to the Grindhaus, Tales of the Grave, Meathook Massacre 4 and Robowoman) actually stops and thinks his mortality could be on the line given no one has caught this killer. Heeeey...

Every 10 years under the Harvest Moon, the beast roams the land looking for sacrifices only to return to its ancient slumber afterwards. Mind you we are getting this probably fourth hand Chinese Whispers style. This cat was any more baked, he'd be a lasagna.

Our POV creature is making the rounds and by all that is Holy he doesn't seem to dig photographers, health nuts and hippies. That's close to 45% of Southern California, brah. What is your damage? Sheriff will have to be taking the Mayor Vaughn shark defense and fending off those pesky questions like: "Is it safe to be out at any hour? What are you doing to catch this killer? "

With two girls stranded nearby, they're out of gas. Oh no, now they'll have to make out. Right? Sorry only used to the hetro male answer for the out of gas with a girl.  On the outskirts of town, it's only a 2 mile walk. Beth (Julie Anne Prescott of Doomsday County, Dead End, Burn Notice, Hell's Kitty, No Strings 2: Playtme in Hell, House of Blood, and Meathook Massacre 4) and Becky( FX guru Alexys Paonessa (Electric Dreams, Black Lightning, Lucifer, Meathook Massacre: The Final Chapter and Moon of the Blood Beast) debate on the walk versus waiting for a good Samaritan. Finally the call of nature can no longer be avoided and neither is the culling.

That's not how we poop! Bad Hippie! Bad!

Wouldn't be a Ferguson film without seeing the lovely Dawna Lee Heising make an appearance.

Her son Clifford (Dustin Wonch of Runaway Nightmare and Moon of the Blood Beast) may end up missing dinner.

I started laughing when I realized that sneaky man snuck in clips of Track of the Moon Beast. Yeah I know this film and no I did not have to review it. Many moons ago, MST3K riffed on it as Johnny Longbow told us all went into his stew in the most monotone voice I have heard. "Corn, chicken, rice.." Poor Dawna has to sit through this flick. That's a trooper. Because as we all know, lunar meteorites are the cause of lizard man mutations. Back to the film.

Body count's stacking up like cord wood in a slasher film, Sheriff. You getting off your keister and tending to this or do we call in Chuck Norris? In less than two days, the kill count has managed double digits. Get the beast, Gabe! You got this!

Is the town damned? Does anyone have a spine to end this curse? What would having a local demon legend do for the tourist economy?

Well once again, the proof is there in front of you. You give Dustin some wiggle room, creative reins and he will deliver.  With some great POV camera work, cut screen kills we have an urban legend ground plan laid out and some good performances.  It has a real Jaws vibe to it, a dash of Grizzly meets Pumpkinhead.  A modern day folklore that seems to be scoffed at but the sinister undertone is there.  It's almost as if the town is aware of this happens every ten years whether they will admit it out loud or not. Frankly their negligence to warn travellers and the townsfolk makes the movie a lot more disturbing.

Nice to see Dustin's streak is only getting better. And hats off to FX woman Alexys Paonessa (Electric Dreams, Black Lightning, Lucifer, Meathook Massacre: The Final Chapter and Moon of the Blood Beast) as our creature does look ghastly.

I think this is cool. Bad Jake! Bad!