Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Savage Titles: Savage County

A fine greetings and hello for Day 2 of Savage Titles. While yesterday was an actual enjoyable women in prison film that did not have large amounts of nudity, lesbian undertones and torture...I know I have just irked a good chunk of my male readers but fellas, really it was fun but this time around we seem to have a gen-y horror movie made in 2010. Yeah I am riveted at this dialogue but I am sticking around for the cinematography. With the stereotypical redneck yokel mongoloid looking men and women hot on these teens' trail for something or the other. This is Savage County.

Well this is the worst Cracker Barrel I have ever been to.

Filmed in Memphis Tennessee, a major party for the kids prior finals is in full swing as a happening. Film geek Patrick (Doug Haley of Van Nuys, Good Luck Charlie, Born to Race, The Intern, Man Up and The Spectacular Now) is prepping a party and a road trip extravaganza. Valedictorian Izzy (Ana Ayora of Marley & Me, Phoenix Falling, The Big Wedding, Chop Shop, Redeemed and Banshee) and her doof, buff and self-centered Class President boyfriend Colby (Ken Luckey of The Legend of Hell's Gate: An American Conspiracy, True Blood, L.A. Noir, Mad Men, 6 Bullets to Hell and Happily Ever After) are grumbling with one another because Izzy isn't putting out enough for Colby's taste I guess. Captain of the Football team Noah (Sinqua Walls of Teen Wolf, Believe Me, Power and Once Upon a Time) and girlfriend Prom queen Caitlyn (Rebekah Graf of 90210, My Roommate Sam, Bro', Killer Reality, and Talbot County) is iffy on both the party and the road trip but Patrick is a good egg. Caitlyn drops the bombshell that she is grounded and remains on her vlog podcast/djing to interact with fans.

Find the dimmest bulb in the room.  Hint, it's not the light bulb.

Megan is a slight bad girl with no direction (Mimi Michaels of Hip-Hop Headstrong, Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2, Castle, Chosen, 666 Park Avenue, BioShock Infinite, Dope and Quantum Break) with her drug dealing boyfriend that is older than her, Mike (Ryan Carter of Omg/HaHaHa, A Disjointed Proposal, Savage County and First Impressions) are hitting this party...probably to bone in one of the bedrooms. Patrick tries to bond with everything. Our film interspersed past and present with psychos torments their victims.

The kids head out to their road trip and our gang tease Patrick about his scaredy cat ways. To prove them wrong he decides to take the dare of the knock and run on the most dilapidated house they could find. Seriously, if I was in a car accident, leg broken and bleeding out, I still would not have crawled to this rusted out farm equipment front lawn filled crap house. Izzy throwing up constantly hinting to early days of pregnancy as they are off to the swimming hole for drinking and debauchery. A prank pushing the goth girl Angie (Ivy Mclemore of Cigarette Girl, Savage County and B.F.E.) into said swimming hole and she stomps off.   The rest of the gang go to craphole house and anger the creeper old man with a shotgun. Noah hits on the idea to crack him across the melon with a shovel and of course this is the MaGuffin that sets everything else into motion.

Old Man Hardell's family find dead Grampy and seek revenge in the bloodiest way possible. Yeah with slow-mo shots handheld and their goofy masks it is clear that none of these boys are tightly wrapped and start to hunt the kids down.

How many will feel the icy hand of Death?? Can they survive this encounter? Will Jake give a crap?

To be fair the film is acted well and the production isn't bad, it is just predictable and more gory than the 70s Grindhouse Drive-In flicks. Foreseen futures no matter how brief they may be is tedious and drawn out. Not that they have that finite a cast, I think they were attempting suspense. With a degree of night vision, grainy shots and fast edits it could be considered creepy.

Calculable stories and repetitive results annoy me to no end and I was very bored.

Voted: Most likely to die squealing like a pig.