Hello there boys and girls and welcome
to Day 1 of Sequels Rebound. Quick question for you all, aren't you
a little sick of sequels in name only? That for me gets a bit
tiresome. It's almost like the next director didn't even bother with
the homework of the previous movie, sit down with the writer and take
a few notes.
Why do I mention this? Well, let's
just say my one of my least favorite directors is helming this
particular talkie of shame. Oh no, don't worry. It is not Uwe Boll.
Yes, breathe the sigh of relief. Instead, we have the schmuck
that brought us illustrious titles like: Chopping Mall, Deathstalker
II, Scream Queen Hot Tub Party, Vampirella and The Bare Wench
Project. The master of Jiggly Girl himself, Jim Wynorski. This is
Sorority House Massacre II.
 |
| Tee hee, we're gonna die horribly. |
Unlike the thriller/slasher that was
Sorority House Massacre brought to us by writer/director Carol Frank,
this film has NOTHING to do with the previous. GASP! Instead we
get some convoluted story arc of the house was the scene of multiple
murders with lifted footage of Slumber Party Massacre. Yeah the
flashbacks couldn't even be the original story arc and salvage any dignity available.
Five college girls buy this ran down
house, the Hokstedter home for their new sorority house. They got it
cheap and with a few supplies and elbow grease they can put it back
together. Let me just say I have full confidence in these girls
handling plumbing, woodwork and electrical. With two scream queens
Melissa Moore (Evil Spawn, Scream Dream, Samurai Cop,
Caged Fury, Vampire Cop and The Invisible Maniac) soft to
hardcore Adult star Gail Harris (Takin' It Off, Electric
Blue 38, Electric Blue 41, Savage Harbor, Dream On, Treasure Hunt and
Curse of the Komodo) and Adult Star the late Savannah (The
Invisible Maniac, Autoerotica, Hot Holes, Surf City Sex, Made in
Heaven and Happy Endings) rounding out our cast, it gives you
the mindset that this girls may be here just to jiggle. Coupled with
shower scenes of full front nudity in a house that has no hot water.
How do I know this? Well the girls made mention of it and their
nipples were hard enough to shear through titanium. Next door
neighbor/creeper/red herring Orville Ketchum (Peter Spellos of
Black Jack, Night Shade, Bound, The Assault, Vice Girls and Men in
Black II) narrates the stolen flashback footage as though the
father of the household went completely of the rails and starting
killing everyone with a power drill...like in Slumber Party Massacre.
Almost as though it was the very film in fact.
 |
| Portrait of the sexually deprived...and depraved. |
Meanwhile Lt. Block of Wood (Jurgen Baum of Sorority House Massacre II, Hard to Die, The Stand,Wishmaster, The Dentist and The Dentist 2) and Sgt Ditzy Shawlee (Toni Naples of Hard to Die, Munchie, Prison Heat, Dinosaur Island and Munchie Strikes Back) play a round of exposition of the very same story WE JUST HEARD!!!! So after the lenghty shower scenes, the girls decide to break out an ouija board to contact the ghost of Hokstedter but they get too creeped out and never finish. Suzanne (Adult Actress Barbii of Deep Inside Barbii, Backdoor to Hollywood 14, Fantasy World and Confessions of Professional Centerfolds) squabbles with Janey (Dana Bentley of L.A. Vice, Repo Jake, Lethal Games, Karate Cop and Rangers) so much that Janey goes back downstairs to finish the booze while Suzanne goes to the attic to step in a bear trap and be done in by the murderer.
What is there to say about this movie?
Well it was written and shot in seven
days. The shower scenes are clearly for...well any guy that didn't
want to get teased for renting porn so he went with this instead.
The acting is pretty wooden, the practical effects were decent
enough. I saw the boom mic and the shadow of a boom mic a few times
and this is the only horror film where a six shot revolver suddenly
fires ten times. Yeesh.
 |
| Clearly their parents' money well spent. |
No comments:
Post a Comment